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'Are you keeping pace with spending predictions?'
'I have the results of your stress test, and to be on the safe side, I want you to stop looking at your 401k.'
'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'
"Sorry, we don't have your money anymore but if you want to see some photos of it we've taken over the years check out our website."
'...They were on the verge of working out the problem themselves.'
'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'
"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."
Tags:magic bean, magic beans, revenue, revenues, jack and the beanstalk, value, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, investment, investments, financial, financials, fairytale, fairytales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, fairy story, fairy stories, sales pitch, sales pitches, salesmen, salesman, confidence trick, con, cons, scam, scams
'I need a tool to measure productivity.'
'My problem is, I lost my first million before I made my first million.'
"Oh, Honey - our first bankruptcy!"
Tags:bankruptcy, bankruptcies, bankrupted, bankrupt, bankrupted, budget, budgets, family budget, family budgets, family finances, financial, financials, money management, money-management, bill, bills, bill payer, bill payers, bill-payer, bill-payers, money skill, money skills, financial management, money problem, fiscal, irresponsible, financially irresponsible, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, fiscally responsible, fiscal irresponsibility, husband, husbands, wife, wives, proud, pride, achievement, achievements
"You'll agree then, Doug, the numbers don't sound quite so dismal when I use my Donald Duck voice."
'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'
Save a Whale Bank: 'It's your interest.'
'Unfortunately, this, here, is still a mystery.'
'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'
'And it was about here that we decided to go paperless.'
'I see you've listed your assets as totaling 100,000, but that's based on counting the street value of your organs,'
'Nelson here is in charge of out offshore accounts.'
"My broker jumped out a window, but that's small consolation."
Tags:portfolio, portfolios, financial, financials, financial portfolio, financial portfolios, economic downturn, economic downturns, suicidal, consolation, consolations, small consolation, little consolation, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, investor, investors, investment, investments, money problem, money problems, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
'You need a better long-term strategy than winning powerball.'
'But enough about losses, Mrs. Goodwin. Let's talk about spiritual gain.'
'Nice try with the scraggly outfits. However, I saw you pull up in the 2007 Mercedes CL 550'
'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'
'But in my fantasy business league, all my stock picks are winners.'
'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''