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'How much will you get if the building you're working on burns down tonight?... Five to ten years.'
'Does this policy cover heartburn?'
'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.
'Remember, your fire insurance is only good if your house burns down...melting doesn't count.'
"No, having your gingerbread house eaten by kids isn't covered."
"I suppose you're right. Some extra fire coverage would be a no-brainer."
'I lie a lot. Do you have any 'Pants On Fire' insurance?'
'No, asbestos paint doesn't qualify you for a discount on fire insurance.'
"Our mortgage isn't bad, but we pay through the nose for fire insurance."
'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'
"Why's your fire-and-theft policy so cheap?"
"Sorry, you can't claim on your husband's death; this is fire insurance."
'You just invented fire. He just invented fire insurance.'
Fire spelling the word fire
"We have a new fire and theft policy. We only pay if your house is burgled while its burning."
"The Wolf would just blow it down. And, your fire insurance would be astronomical."
"No, your FIRE policy does not cover you being FIRED from your job."