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"Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato—how can I help you?"
Prison Cell: Mearn, Gingham & Wickerman
Tags:white collar crime, white collar crimes, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, merger, mergers, company, companies, firm, firms, cell, cells, prison cell, prison cells, gaol, gaols, advertising, law firm, law firms, convict, convicts, business opportunity, business opportunities
'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'
'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'
'I guess you lost me, Hank, at the point where we jump to light speed, travel back in time and undo the stupid merger that's causing all of our current problems!'
"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"
'Risky, but I like it!'
'Location, location, location! If we had law offices on Mars, we would have twice as many billable hours a day.'
"Let me put it this way, Haroldson. Here at Bannister, Redman & Pinter, we do not consider life one part Seagrams and two parts fun."
Tags:alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, law firm, law firms, law office, law offices, cocktail, cocktails, mixed drink, mixed drinks, recipe, recipes, firm, firms, mixing business and pleasure, business, businesses, small business, small businesses, attitude, attitudes, bad attitude, bad attitudes, positive attitude, positive attitudes
'We're your family... please don't audit us.'
'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'
'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'
"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."
Motivating younger employees
'I'd just like to know how these crazy rumors get started.'
'This firm is committed to diversity -- I have yes-men, si-men, ja-men, oui-men, da-men, hai-men....'
"These are the benefits you were guaranteed when you joined this firm - and this is a match."
'That's not what I meant when I ordered a product recall.'
'It's all right. I'm just a little behind.'
"If we are to save the firm from collapse then we need leadership...perhaps we should start by convening a group to have a little think about the colour of the files we'll be using?"
Tags:leadership, collapse, collapses, collapsing, firm, firms, meeting, meetings, emergency meeting, emergency meetings, office meeting, office meetings, file, files, filing, unnecessary meeting, unnecessary meetings, waste of time, wastes of time, wasting time, bankrupt, bankruptcy, wasteful, wastefulness
The put asunder law firm - 'Divorce cases our speciality.'
Deeds, misdeeds, feasance, malfeasance, combobulation, discombobulation.
Unnecessary Alarm Co.
It's a dogs life
'Oh, that's John, who is always claiming that no one in the company hierarchy knows he's even here.'