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"I hope you kept the box it came in."
"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, overtime, working late, staying late, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, baby, babies, new baby, new babies, avoiding, avoidance, pregnancy, pregnancies, first child, first kids, first baby, first-time parent, first-time parents, new parent, new parents, father-to-be, dad-to-be
'Is he your first?'
Couple gets married and then gets stuck in traffic for so long that they have a baby before they get home.
"We can strike the clause that allows us to take your firstborn male child if you miss a payment. It's really just in there because people expect it to be."
Tags:loan department, loan departments, loan, loans, debt, debts, loan contract, loan contracts, borrower, borrowers, lender, lenders, loan officer, loan officers, loan applicant, loan applicants, loan application, loan applications, loan repayment, loan repayments, firstborn, firstborns, first born, first child, penalty, penalties, banker, bankers, bank, banks
"Remember- we want her to stand out and fit in."
Tags:baby name, baby names, new parent, new parents, young parent, young parents, first child, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, standing out, fitting in, embarrassing name, embarrassing names, unique name, unique names, difficult decision, difficult decisions
'I'm not sticking around to find out.'
'Just another rave in the nursery.'
'Hello? Animal control?'
'My teacher's job is to shape the minds of children... She must be a gigillionaire!'
'Shouldn't you be out in line...'
'Why George, why?'
'Back me up buddy! She sounds cool with Moa!'
'Send him a text and find out!'
'Imagine that in gummi!'
'Ay, there's the rub.'
'...Just like Daddy!'
Worm Appreciation Society!
'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'
'Does anyone feel like I do?'
'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'
'Guess what? I found a way to get the baby to eat creamed peas!'
'I can do all the things I've always wanted to, but couldn't!'