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"I went to farmers' markets with my first wife. I don't know if I want to go through all that again."
Tags:farmers market, farmers markets, market, markets, shopping, food shopping, relationship, relationships, first wife, first wives, first marriages, first marriage, second marriage, second marriages, second wife, second wives, relationship issues, ordeal, ordeals, difficulty, torment, torments, husband, husbands, wife, wives, boyfriend, boyfriends, new relationships, new relationship, divorced, divorce, divorcee, divorcees
"I hope you don't mind. I used the same recipe that made me crazy enough to marry my first wife."
"Your husband went back to his first wife and is already on board."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, ship, ships, big, animal, animals, gangplank, gangplanks, rabbit, rabbits, bunny, bunnies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, ex, exes, first wife, first wives, returned, former, previous, left behind, dumped
"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"
'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'
"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, ex, exes, first wife, second wife, ex-wife, ex-wives, second marriage, second marriages, divorcee, divorcees, divorce, divorces, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, insecure, birthday, birthdate, birthdates, password, passwords, computer, computers, technology, modern life
All this alimony to my first wife is killing me.
"You'll make a good first wife."
Tags:first wife, first wives, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex wife, ex wives, proposal, proposals, serial monogamy, serial monogamist, serial monogamists, divorce rate, divorce rates, divorce, divorces, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, marital breakdown, marital breakdown, love life, commitment issue, commitment issues
'I just ran into your first wife downtown -- she makes a lot of sense.'
"You're mixed up again, Alan - I'm your first wife."
"Why do you keep referring to me as your first wife?"
Tags:wedding, weddings, wedding day, wedding days, bride, brides, bridegroom, bridegrooms, groom, grooms, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, divorce, divorces, divorce rate, divorce rates, first wife, first wives, marriage breakdown, marital breakdown, relationship breakdown, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, paranoia, paranoid
'Computer dating? I want my money back. You fixed me up with my first wife.'
'What makes you think you're henpecked?' - 'I'm still taking orders from my first wife.'
'Will you be my first wife?'
'If we bundle the money that goes to your first wife's alimony, plus the deposits you keep making into the new wife's bank account....it's easy to see where your money goes!'
'This is Claire, my prequel, and Cynthia, my sequel.'
'Do you suppose nobody pays any attention to us because we've only been married once?'
'These are the qualities I'm looking for in a first wife.'
3rd Mrs Newt Gingrich: 'Everytime I catcha cold, I womder if Newt is out looking for my replacement!'
'-but don't you remember saying you could do with some help round the house?'
'My first wife treated me like a king -- she never let me leave the house without a guard.'
Marriage Bureau - "I'd like to skip the first wife and go straight for the trophy one."
'... And do you James, take Cathy to be your lawfully wedded first wife?'
"It keeps her on her toes!"
"This is Mildred, I call her my first wife just to keep her on her toes!"