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'Wow! This zombie apocalypse is doing wonders for my fitness...'
"On the bright side, my fitness tracker says struggling in qucksand this long is the equivalent of a 10-mile run."
"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."
"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."
"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."
"I'll get the ball, but I draw the line at wearing your fitbit!"
"You'd get up and take out the trash if your activity tracker told you to."
"Would you care to come up and see my cardiovascular fitness data?"
"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."
"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."
"I'm going to have to cancel our workout. My Fitbit stopped working."
Norman was still getting used to his apple watch
"Ya, ya I know. But I only have 120 more steps to reach my daily goal."
"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."
"Does that damn watch say we can FINISH yet?"
"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."