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Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,
'Granted, the Board of Directors didn't think much of your proposal, but I think they'll be impressed by your resilience!'
'It's just so tragic! For 30 years he runs his shop, and then one day he steps out of his door and WHAM!'
"It could have been worse."
"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"
Tags:podiatrist, podiatrists, podiatry, foot doctor, foot doctors, foot, feet, elephant, elephants, stomp, stomps, stomping, flatten, flattens, flattening, flattened, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, job, jobs, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, cocktail party, cocktail parties, strange job, strange jobs, unusual job, unusual jobs
"I never meant to hurt you."
A caveman is flattened at a dinosaur crossing sign.
'Oh boy.. WHEELS ON MEALS!'
'Don't get mad at me, lady. I just followed the instructions.'
"He never knew what hit him."
Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush
Tags:walk, walks, walking, walked, walker, walkers, pedestrian, pedestrians, crossing, crossings, squash, squashes, squashed, flatten, flattens, flattened, traffic light, traffic lights, signal, signals, road, roads, road signals, road signal, road sign, road signs, sidewalk, pavement, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Walk it off, babe. Walk it off.'
Tags:meteor, meteors, meteorite, meteorites, baseball, base ball, injure, injures, injured, injury, injuries, walk it off, fielder, fielders, fielding, fielded, squash, squashes, squashing, squashed, minor, minors, major, majors, flatten, flattens, flattened, flattening, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'I WARNED you we had the largest slice in town!'
The exciting new sport of Roadkill Ultimate Frisbee.
'Hey! Replace your divot!'
Tags:rhino, rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinoceroses, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, divot, divots, replace, replaces, replacing, replacement, replacements, fix, fixes, fixed, flat, flats, flatten, flattened, flattening, complain, complaint, complaints, turf, turfs, turfed, turfing, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'... excuse me... coming through... sorry... pardon me... whoa! That's not my seat -- I'm in the next row!'
Tags:rhino, rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinoceroses, cinema, cinemas, film, films, movie, movies, crush, crushes, crushed, crushing, flatten, flattens, flattened, seating plan, seating plans, reserve, reserved, reserves, reservation, reservations, place, places, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'
Tags:basketball, foul, fouls, fouling, fouled, fouler, foulers, penalty, penalties, warn, warns, warned, warning, warnings, caution, cautions, cautioned, cautioning, referee, referees, umpire, umpires, flatten, flattens, flattened, penalise, penalised, penalises, punish, punishes, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Look, I'm not suggesting that you give up all extreme sports. I'm just saying that maybe you should at least consider cutting out the sky surfing.'
Tags:doctor, doctors, extreme sport, extreme sports, suggest, suggests, suggesting, suggestion, suggestions, skysurfing, sky surfing, skysurf, sky surf, surf, surfs, surfing, surfer, surfers, skysurfer, skysurfers, flat, flats, flatten, flattens, flattened, squash, squashes, squashed, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
How do you know you don't like flattened possum guts if you've never tried flattened possum guts?
Getting home late is not always the best option.
Stop for Steamroller
Deflated blood donor