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'I want to offset my carbon footprint Jenkins, cancel your holiday flights.'
The latest innovation in air travel: convertible jets.
'Where are you headed?' 'Oh, I'm just here for the food.'
'Please put your tray table and seat in their upright and locked position... ooh! Didn't say Simon Sez.'
"LaGauardia, and hurry - I've got a flight in six hours."
Tags:lagauardia, traffic jam, traffic jams, traffic queue, traffic queues, flight, flights, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, plane, planes, flight, flights, traffic, congestion, taxi, taxis, commute, commutes, airport, airports, taxi cab, taxi cabs, stuck in traffic, businessmen, businessman
'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'
"It's my first time up!"
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.
Tags:flight, flights, cockpit, cockpits, pilot, pilots, engineer, engineers, engine drive, engine drivers, train driver, train drivers, train, trains, conductor, conductors, captain, captains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, ominous, worry, worries, fear, fears
"At this time, we'd like to begin boarding our 'It's all about me' members."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, boarding, announcement, announcements, member, members, membership, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, ego, egotistic, egoist, egoists, egotistical, vain, vanity, selfish, self-centered, self-centred, modern line
A passenger on a plane watches as a truck labeled "Lostluggage.com" drives away from the plane he is on.
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, luggage, baggage, bag, bags, lost, lost & found, lost and found, truck, trucks, lorry, lorries, problem, problems, customer service, service, modern life, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, traveling, travelling
"Is the flight completely full, extremely full, or very full."
"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flight, flights, passenger, passengers, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, airport, airports, air travel, customer experience, customer experiences, booking, bookings, unhappy customers, dissatisfied customer, dissatisfied customers
"Mommy's not home. Mommy's on a plane ride with Captain Yummy!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads, family, families, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, infidelity, cheater, cheaters, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, dating, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, flight, flights, not home, modern life
"Ladies and gentlemen, is there a bankruptcy attorney on board?"
'Dang! Crashed again! Oh well... I've got to get to my flight.'
Tags:pilot, pilots, airport, airports, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, video game, video games, arcade game, arcade games, crash, crashes, crashed, crashing, fly, flies, flight, flights, worry, worries, worrying, worried, flight simulator, flight simulators, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Tags:budget cut, budget cuts, airline, airlines, airliner, airliners, flight, flights, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, stewardess, stewardesses, flight attendant, flight attendants, cabin crew, cabin crews, air travel, air travels, air travelling, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, cost-saving, cost-saving measure, cost-saving measures, meal, meals, in-flight meal, in-flight meals
A flighttime story
"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."
Tags:space travel, travel, travels, travelling, traveling, road trip, road trips, song, songs, singalong, singalongs, long drive, long drives, long flight, long flights, flight, flights, air travel, bottles of beer, vacation, vacations, family vacation, family vacations, rocket, rockets, rocketship, rocketships, rocket ship, rocket ships
Health costs soaring in the U.S., Americans are going to other countries for medical care.
'Once again she'd been seated next to a crying baby, but this time Mara was fighting back.'
'Would you mind switching seats with me... I'm actually terrible at parallel parking.'
'Well, we just became unspectacular.'
"Story boarding our next flight."
Every now and then, Doreen liked to see how many people were paying attention to her safety talk.