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A plumber heads down to a basement to find a boy with his finger in the pipe.
Tags:pipe, pipes, dike, dikes, boy with his finger in the dike, hans brinker, silver skates, flood, floods, flooding, flooded, basement, basements, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, plumbing problem, plumbing problems, dam, dams, stop, stops, stopping, hero, heroes, heroic, dutch boy, dutch boys, little dutch boy
'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'
Tags:storm, storms, sixth sense, animal sense, animal senses, animal sensing, pet, pets, dog, dogs, bad weather, weather prediction, weather predictions, prediction, predictions, predicting, weather man, weather men, meteorologist, meteorologists, meteorology, telltale sign, telltale signs, pool toy, pool toys, flood, floods, flooding
"And this time--no ark!"
Noah and the animals emerge from spaceship.
Tags:noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, ship, ships, boat, boats, genesis, gospel, christianity, space ship, space ships, animal, animals, two-by-two, walk, walks, walking, new land, outer space, planet, planets, flood, floods, the great flood, the great floods, elephant, elephants, giraffe, giraffes, emerge, emerges, emerging
"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."
"Personally I won't be convinced about climate change until I see the evidence!"
'That's probably not a good sign.'
'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'
'Never mind a Triple Lock pension guarantee, I want better quality sandbags.'
Leaking washing machine.
Tags:laundry, doing the laundry, dirty washing, chore, chores, household chore, household chores, household task, household tasks, washing machine, washing machines, washer dryer, washer dryers, leak, leaks, puddle, puddles, flood, floods, flooding, disaster, disasters, leaking washing machine, inconvenient, inconvenience
'There goes Slippery Sid, he never misses a trick does he?'
"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"
Tags:global warming, sea level, ocean levels, rise, rises, sea level rise, sea level rising, conference, conferences, pitcher's mound, pitchers mound, meeting, meetings, meeting on the mound, waste time, wastes time, wasting time, batter, batters, indecision, flood, floods, flooding, great flood, great floods, catcher, catchers, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastination, climate change, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism
"You know a lot about global warming. When will we be able to swim up central park west?"
'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'
'It's the council's flood defence system.'
Flooding Review - 'We're holding you responsible...'
'Jerry looked into flood insurance but says it's too darned expensive,'
"Despite what mayor Bloomberg says I think the evidence is still patchy on the subject of climate change."
"I tried to get just two ants."
'After the first few floods our insurance company insisted we future-proof the house.'
"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."
Tags:noah, noah's ark, bible, bibles, creation, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, flood, floods, biblical flood, biblical floods, animal, animals, mythical creature, mythical creatures, unicorn, unicorns, lgbt, lgbtq, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, noah, going extinct, endangered species, accident, accidents, mistake, mistakes, consequence, consequences, endangered, endangered species
"Gentlemen, it's time we gave some serious thought to the effects of global warming."
Tags:global warming, floods, washington, water, pollution, thought, serious, environment, politics, incompetents, climate change, too late, tardy, tardiness, flood, flooding, flooded, global warming effect, global warming effects, delay, delays, apocalypse, end of the world, dragging our heels, worldwide flood, worldwide floods, environmental disaster, environmental catastrophe, catastrophe, catastrophes, disaster, disasters, natural disaster, natural disasters
"I'm retiring the line 'water under the bridge'."