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'It's ok, I'm a florist'
"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."
Tags:flower, flowers, flower shop, flower shops, flower store, flower stores, florist, florists, bouquet, bouquets, buying flowers, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, romance, romantic, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, dating, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, guilt, guilty, feeling guilty, gift, gifts, present, present, make-up, makeup, making up, apology, apologies, apologising, apologizing, saying sorry, rule of thumb, rules of thumbs, rule, rules, stem, stems, long-stemmed, advice, marital advice, relationship advice
'You didn't like it when I got you flowers from the petrol station, so this year I've bought you a litre of engine oil.'
"Sometimes you just have to stop and b***h about the roses."
The Niche Economy
Tags:niche, niches, service economy, service economies, service worker, service workers, niche interest, niche interests, specialty, specialty store, specialty stores, specialty shop, specialty shops, dog clothes, dog clothing, pizza, pizzas, pizza crust, pizza crusts, specific, specificity, specifics, flower, flowers, flower shop, flower shops, florist, florists
Happy Hour at the Stamen & Pistil
'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'
"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, married life, marriage, marriages, dating, apologising, apologizing, saying sorry, sorry, wrongdoing, admit, admiting, admitting wrongdoing, guilt, guilty, feeling guilt, feeling guilty, apology, apologies, self-righteous, husband, husbands, boyfriend, boyfriends, men, man, stereotype, stereotypes, flower shop, flower shops, floral shop, floral shops, florist, florists, flower, flowers, bouquet, bouquets, buying flowers, clerk, clerks, shopkeeper, shopkeepers, customer service
"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"
'Are you sure that's all you have to say?'
'Sorry, I had to call the authorities. Whenever a guy buys that many roses, you just know he's guilty of something.'
The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.
"What the hell do you want? You know this is my busiest day, Mother!"
Tags:florist, florists, flower shop, flower shops, flower store, flower stores, flower, flowers, plant, plants, mother's day, holiday, holidays, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, adult kids, adult children, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, talking on the phone, talking on the telephone, phone conversation, phone conversations, telephone conversation, telephone conversations, busy, too busy, busiest day, angry, anger, upset, distracting, frustrated, relationship, relationships, son, sons
'My wife and I had a big fight last night.'
'Oh. . . Flowers. . . I thought you said you were going to show me your amazing powers.'
"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"
Tags:olive branch, olive branches, olive branch, peace offering, peace offerings, fight, fights, argument, arguments, argue, argues, arguing, flower, flowers, florist, florists, flower arrangement, flower arrangements, apology, apologies, apologize, apologizes, apologise, apologises, apologising, sorry, saying sorry, wife, husband, couple, couples, spat, spats
"Why don't you just tell me what idiotic thing you did, and I'll pick out the appropriate bouquet!"
"They weren't wilted before you picked them up!"
"My wife said I had to get flowers for my mother-in-law....I don't suppose you have any dead ones laying around?"
'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'
Say it with Flowers: Get well.
"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"
"Answer the question with a simple yes or no. You may not 'say it with flowers' in a court of law."
"I need something that says, 'I'm sorry about that thing I said that caused you to totally overreact.' "
Tags:apology, apologies, spat, spats, row, rows, fall out, falling out, florist, florists, flower, flowers, bouquet, bouquets, argument, arguments, argue, argues, arguing, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, marriages, long-term relationship, overreact, overreaction, self-righteous, self-righteousness, outraged, indignant
'I told my wife that I didn't buy her chocolates because she'd put on a bit of weight...how many roses do you think it will take before she lets me back into the house?'