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'Are you crazy, lady? You ordered these twenty minute sago.'
'It's ok, I'm a florist'
'it's nice but I prefer Monet's garden at Giverny.'
'Oh gross, manure.'
'You sure? I thought Mr. Travolta's appointment wasn't until Thursday.'
"This is Mrs. Burlington Wells. One of my begonias went off by accident and killed Mr. Goodrich."
Tags:begonia, begonias, flower, flowers, flower pot, flower pots, accident, accidents, accidental, murder, murders, murdering, killing, killings, murder weapon, murder weapons, excuse, excuses, alibi, alibis, accidental death, accidental deaths, manslaughter, likely story, likely stories, murderess, murderesses, fall, falls, falling, heavy object, heavy objects
"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."
Tags:flower, flowers, flower shop, flower shops, flower store, flower stores, florist, florists, bouquet, bouquets, buying flowers, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, romance, romantic, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, guilt, guilty, feeling guilty, gift, gifts, present, present, make-up, makeup, making up, apology, apologies, apologising, apologizing, saying sorry, rule of thumb, rules of thumbs, rule, rules, stem, stems, long-stemmed, advice, marital advice, relationship advice
The Last Flower
Tags:flower, flowers, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, nature, nature lover, nature lovers, communing with nature, pollution, pollute, pollutes, polluting, natural world, natural worlds, conservation, conserve, conserves, conserving, wildflower, wildflowers, botany, botanist, botanists, biology, biologist, biologists
'Sorry Trevor, but I don't date people I work with.'
"Very nice, but I understood there were to be bizarre sexual experiments."
Tags:probe, probes, probing, alien probe, alien probes, alien abduction, alien abductions, abduct, abducts, abducting, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, false advertisement, false advertisements, false advertising, valentine, valentines, request, requests, requesting, science fiction, scifi, sci-fi, woo, woos, wooing, romance, romances, romancing, valentine's day, valentines day, flowers, chocolates, seduce, seduces, seduction, seductions
"Might I recommend the orange Crayola for the smaller flowers and the blue-green for the foliage."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting, drawing, colouring, coloring, crayon, crayons, art, artist, artists, colour, colours, color, colors, tablecloth, tablecloths, table, tables, flowers, foliage
"I brought the bougainvillea in from the greenhouse. It wasn't happy out there."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, plant, plants, flower, flowers, garden, gardens, gardening, gardener, gardeners, greenhouse, greenhouses, happy, happiness, unhappy, annoyed, upset, bougainvillea, thorn, thorns, thorny, hobby, hobbies, botany, botanist, botanists, science, taking over
'You didn't like it when I got you flowers from the petrol station, so this year I've bought you a litre of engine oil.'
"The growing season has barely begun, but I've already been getting death threats."
"Are these beautiful? I can't ever tell?"
"We're out of flowers."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, centerpiece, centerpieces, centrepiece, centrepieces, flower, flowers, vase, vases, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, out, ran out, decor, decoration, decorations
Umbrella with Flowers
There once was a person who planted a seed
'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'
"Honey, I've got you some flowers to complain about."
Tags:flowers, gift, gifts, spontaneous gifts, unwanted gift, unwanted gifts, unasked for gift, unasked for gifts, unappreciated, unappreciative, futile gesture, futile guesters, too little too late, bad relationship, bad relationships, failing relationships, failing relationship, failing marriage, failing marriages, bad marriage, bad marriages, complain, complainer, always complaining, complaining, complaint, stereotypes, never happy
'You know, I bet if we steamed that and dipped it in mayo, it wouldn't be half bad... that or use it as some sort of weapon.'
A bird pulls a flower out of the ground and sings into it as though it is a microphone.
"End of February, McIntosh. Time to think about our spring plantings."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, punishments, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, celly, cellie, cellies, garden, gardens, gardening, gardener, gardeners, leisure.hobby, hobbies, spring, springtime, planting, plant, plants, flower, flowers, plan, plans, planning, february, spring planting, season, seasons, planting season, seasonal
"Sometimes you just have to stop and b***h about the roses."
"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"
Tags:plant, plants, houseplant, houseplants, flower, flowers, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, gardening, technology, robot, robots, interruption, interruptions, distraction, distractions, distracted, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, role reversal, screen addict, screen addicts, screen addiction, modern life