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How to win friends and Influenza People.
"Mr. Pigeon, you have the bird flu virus, all right, but you won't get sick. You're just a carrier."
"Honey, we need to get vaccinated! The flu forecaster says another storm is coming!"
'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'
'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'
'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'
"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"
'Looks like that bug has a pretty good foothold.'
"This feels so familiar."
'Hold everything - we just discovered a newer flu virus.'
'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'
"Are you sure that a 'tamiflu injection' will cure my computer virus?"
'My doctor gave me a prescription for a head cold but I don't have time for a head cold. Could you change this to something for the 24 hour flu?'
'Not too close Jessie, Daddy's caught a cold.' (A father catches a cold in a blanket and is struggling with it).
"I thought you got one of those free flu shots."/"I did. This is my free flu."