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'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'
'There are many delicious ways to prepare low-calorie fruits and vegetables.'
"Hey barkeep! Is there anything but the Food Channel on the microwave?"
'... and don't watch the Food Channel.'
Sometimes, late at night when his parents were asleep, Corwin would sneak downstairs, turn on the TV and masticate to the Food Channel.