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"No, I'm not the waiter. I'm the genetic engineer. How would you like your lamb?"
"Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia and a cup of coffee."
Tags:diner, diners, restaurant, restaurants, order, orders, ordering, food order, food orders, ordering food, coffee, coffees, cup of coffee, head of your enemy, head of my enemy, enemies head, film, films, movie, movies, head, heads, decapitated head, decapitated heads, movie titles, movie title, film title, film titles
"One B.L.T., one cherry pie, and one bowl of chili with crackers on the side!"
Tags:diner, diners, you are what you eat, surreal, surrealism, surrealist, surrealists, dinner, dinners, food order, food orders, cherry pie, cherry pies, b.l.t., blt, chili, chilis, food menu, food menus, eating out, eat out, eats out, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, sandwich, sandwiches, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings
"I'd like a dozen thousand-year-old-eggs. Extra large."
"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waiters, server, servers, menu, menus, pretentious restaurant, pretentious restaurants, pretentious menu, pretentious menus, quotation mark, quotation marks, fancy food, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, order, orders, ordering, food order, food orders, foodie, foodies
"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."
"Instead of French fries may I have a hernia repair?"
Tags:menu, menus, hernia, hernias, hernia repair, hernia repairs, french fries, order, orders, food order, food orders, substitution, substitutions, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, physician, physicians, healthcare, health care, waiter, waiters, server, servers, eating out, medical plaza, medical plazas, hospital, hospitals, themed restaurant, themed restaurants, operation, operations, medical procedure, medical procedures
"How about this: you don't take our order by memory and we won't forget to tip?"
Tags:tip, tips, tipper, tippers, tipping, tipped, waiter, waiters, server, servers, eating out, eat out, restaurant worker, restaurant workers, memorize, memorise, good memory, good memories, order, orders, ordering, food order, food orders, customer service, customer experience, customer satisfaction, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, tipping convention, tipping conventions
"Your meat-loaf serenade, sir."
"Two Cagneys and a side of Garbo to go. Hold the Bogart."
Tags:greta garbo, humphrey bogart, james cagney, hollywood, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, cafe, cafes, menu, menus, themed restaurant, themed restaurants, actor, actors, actress, actresses, fame, famous, golden age, short-order cook, movie star, movie stars, film star, film stars, food order, food orders
'And how would you like your porridge, too hot, too cold, or just right?'
"I'll have his gluten."
'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'
'So that's 3 ham and cheese omelets...one order without cheese, one without ham, and another without eggs.'
'I'll have the porridge...' 'That sounds terrible. I'll have the blueberry pancakes.'
"Large, double sausage, extra cheese? Buddy, for a pie like that we need a note from your HMO."
Tags:pizza, pizzas, pizzeria, pizzarias, food order, food orders, pizza order, pizza orders, pizza pie, pizza pies, fatty food, fatty foods, unhealthy, unhealthy food, unhealthy foods, health warning, health warnings, hmo, health maintenance organization, health insurance, heart attack on a plate, heart attack, heart attacks, infantilising, infantilizing
"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."
"Let's cut to the chase, baby. Is the egg salad fresh?"
"I said to hold the Joie de Vivre."
"I don't see anything on the menu. Can I just order in from somewhere else?"
"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."
"I'm not ordering any lunch, Caswell - I'm going to eat yours."
'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'
'Can I get an order of fries with that?'
"For the last time kid, we are the golden larches. You cannot have french fries!"