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"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."
'We want vaccination.' 'Oh no we don't!'
'Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps.'
'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'
"We've been sent a few army vets to help with the culling"
Politcal HQ closed due to Foot and Mouth
"The madness started with the cow and spread to the others."
'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'
'Well, I'll do what I can, but frankly, this is one hell of a breed to come down with foot and mouth...'
'I'm afraid you've got foot and mouth disease.'
General Hospital sign.
"I'm afraid all you can afford is an enormous dairy farm."
Journalist foaming at the mouth whilst writing about foot and mouth.
Oh no! Saturday Night Swine Fever!
'You haven't got foot and mouth but I'm having you put down because of election fever!'
'I don't believe in the use of sheep dogs. I think it's inhumane.'
My Little Farm - Foot and Mouth Outbreak.
"I had that James Herriot bloke in the back of my cow the other day..."
"Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps."
As Farmer Ron wondered where his cows had gone, somebody started the truck.
'You realise of course, we could be carriers of foot and mouth!'
'We're testing a new slaughter method - first, we tell the pigs they're stockholders. Then, we give them a financial paper!'
M.O.D.- Firing range-keep clear.
"By the sores on my chinny, chin, chin I won't let you in!"
'Countryside open for business'