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'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'
Sexual Arena Football
"Whiskers! Where's your helmet?!"
Tags:football game, football games, footballer, footballers, football match, football matches, football helmet, football helmets, football kit, football kits, head wound, head wounds, football team, football teams, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat person, cat people, cat lover, cat lovers, protective gear, protective gears, forgetful, unprepared, preparation
'Get on the field! Let's go! Get your heads in the game!!'
Tags:heads in the game, focus, focused, game, games, match, matches, football game, football games, football match, football matches, changing room, changing rooms, locker room, locker rooms, headlessness, decapitation, decapitations, footballer, footballers, coach, coaches, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Achilles is having a bloody awful season.'
Fantasy Football League training Camp.
'The bad news is you have only 4 minutes and 40 seconds to live. The good news is that's in 4th quarter football time.'
"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"
"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."
"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"
'I'll bet you would hear everything I say if I were a sports announcer.'
'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'
'Excuse me could we concentrate on the seminar please.'
'Your doctor was given some great tickets to the football game, so I'll be standing in for him. Don't worry, I'm an actor who plays a doctor on TV.'
"Enough with the vuvuzela, Dad."
Tags:vuvuzela, vuvuzelas, soccer, soccer game, soccer games, soccer match, soccer matches, football, football match, football matches, futbol, parent, parents, parenting, soccer mom, soccer moms, soccer practice, cheer, cheers, cheer on, cheers on, cheering on, horn, horns, noisemaker, noisemakers, tournament, tournaments, competition, competitions
"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."
Tags:pregame, pregames, pregame show, pregame shows, game, games, big game, big games, media event, media events, sports, sports show, sports shows, sports fan, sports fans, miss out, misses out, missing out, media saturation, oversaturation, media coverage, popular game, popular games, football, american football, football match, football matches, sports coverage, sports media, big event, big events
"Your husband has been diagnosed with 'football fever.' It's a common illness this time of year."
Tags:football, sports fan, sports fans, fan, fans, football team, football teams, soccer, soccer team, football fan, football fans, soccer fan, soccer fans, match, matches, football match, football matches, american football, watching football, ill, illness, sick, sickness, unwell, football fever, sports fan, sports fans
"Football is one long game of fetch."
"Dad, tell me the 'Off Side Rule', everybody's waiting..."
In a galaxy far from our own, parents at junior sporting events behaved much as they do here.
Tags:alien, aliens, universal truth, universal truths, football game, football games, football match, football matches, soccer player, soccer players, parent, parents, sports official, sports officials, ref, refs, referee, referees, spectator sport, spectator sports, kid, kids, family life, family-life
"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"
'I said she was asking for trouble, with her, 'me or your stupid old football match!''
"It's an old football injury. I threw my back out looking for the TV remote control."