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"To make it look like an accident."
Tags:accident, accidents, accidental, cover-up, covers up, covering up, execution, execution, mafia hit, mafia hits, mobster, mobsters, whacked, banana peel, banana skin, banana skins, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, gangster, gangsters, forensic, forensic investigation, forensic investigations, clue, clues, planting evidence, plant, plants, planting, accident, accidents, look like an accident, make it look like an accident, shooting, shootings
"It looks bad, boss - they got your DNA off an old tennis ball."
Tags:dna, tennis, tennis ball, tennis balls, dog, dogs, guilt, guilty, mob, mobs, mob boss, mob bosses, chase, chases, chasing, fetch, fetches, fetching, game, games, criminal, criminals, organized crime, organised crime, guilt, forensic, forensics, forensic evidence, establish guilt, establishing guilt
Forensics says it wasn't the pease porridge hot or the pease porridge cold. It was the pease porridge in the pot that killed her. Apparently it was nine days old...
"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"
Tags:dna, crimes, forensics, forensic, lab, laboratory, lab, labs, laboratories, logic, flawed logic, analysis, flawed, bad, suspect, suspects, mink, minks, police, police force, fed, feds, fbi, federal bureau of investigations, analyse, fibres, fibers, fibre, fiber, investigation, criminal, dna evidence, twins, twin
'Sorry guys, it's just procedure. We need a family member to identify the body, while it's still recognizable.'
"But Holmes how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?" "Alimentary my dear Watson."
CSI, Ecology Division.
The Thumbkin Myth is Born
Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'
"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."
Tags:dna, forensic evidence, forensic, forensics, crime scene, crime scenes, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, slipper, slippers, canine, canines, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, bad dog, bad dogs, naughty dog, naughty dogs, dna sample, dna samples, dog behaviour, dog behavior, canine behaviour, canine behavior
The Forensic Paleontologist
'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'
Bubble Boys are tough to convict.
'Forensic scientists have now determined that the fall of the Roman Empire was due to an accounting error.'
"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."
Tags:mortuary, mortuaries, death, die, dying, stomach content, stomach contents, analysis, pathology, forensic, forensics, post mortem, post-mortem, morgue, doctor, doctors, health, detective, detectives, mortician, biology, pathologist, path, truth, final, analysis, diagnosis, coroner, coroners, medical examiner, medical examiners
'We could try to identify him through dental records inspector...'
'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '
"Don't worry, this is our star witness..."
Show Held Over For Sixth Successive Week by Popular Demand from Police Forensic Society,
"Stomach content analysis shows the onions were sauteed after the pork was added but before adding the fennel."
Tags:stomach, content, contents, analysis, pathology, forensic, forensics, csi, nsci, mortuary, mortician, morgue, death, die, dying, hospital, hospitals, doctor, pathologist, food, foodie, cook, cooking, restaurant, recipe, pork, fennel, dish, instructions, detective, work, investigator, investigation, digestion, coroner, coroners
'You've left DNA samples all over the place!'
'Working in a crime lab is great. Using DNA evidence, I now know who's been stealing my tuna salad from the break room fridge.'
The Forensic Statistician...
'The DNA proves you were unjustly convicted, and, in fact, you're the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.'
'We checked the entire apartment and there's no sign of this 'Rapunzel' lady... Although we did find a suspicious hair. Want me to have forensics check to see if it's a match?'