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"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

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academic, academics, academia, job, jobs, existence, scientific proof, scientific proofs, scientist, scientists, intellectual, intellectuals, formula, formulas, equation, equations, lab, labs, genius, geniuses, expendable, dispensable, proof, proofsBack to top

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'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematics'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

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chemists, organic, chemist, compound, compounds, molecular, nomenclature, chemistry, formula, structure, scientist, scientists, labs, lab, laboratories, research and development, rd, college, education, school, research, laboratory, name, names, naming, procedure, proceduresA man drinks a formula and becomes a well-dressed middle-aged man.

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dress up, dresses up, dressing up, transform, transforms, transformation, transformation, chemist, chemists, chemistry, well-dressed, gentleman, gentlemen, age, ages, age gracefully, ages gracefully, formula, formulas, transition, transitions, transitioning, magic formula, magic formulas, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, suit, suits, formal wear, formal suit, formal suits, grow up, grows up, growing up, slovenly"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

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science, scientific, scientists, scientist, maths, math, mathematics, mathematical, mathematically, chaotic, chaos, chaos theory, string theory, speculative, speculative science, theory, theoretical, theoretical, chalkboard, drawing board, drawingboard, explanatory, explanation, explanations, explication, explications, formula, formulas, psychedelic, psychedelics, art, arts, devolved, devolve, devolutionBack to top

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'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

Not-particularly-easy-listening radio.

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easy listening, radio, radios, radio station, radio stations, math, maths, mathematics, mathematical formula, mathematical formulae, mathematical formulas, formula, formulas, learn, learns, learning, educational, math instructor, math instructors, math teacher, math teachers, genre, genres, music genre, music genresBack to top

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"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

"Say - here's a way to fool all of the people all of the time."

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fool, fools, fooling, lincoln, abraham lincoln, abe lincoln, quote, quotes, quotation, quotations, famous phrase, famous phrases, phrase, phrases, fool all the people, fooling all the people, foolish, foolishness, president, presidents, american president, american presidents, formula, formulas, formulae, secret, secretsLady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

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mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaning"Look, forget about all the formulas. Basically you want to increase your income, and decrease your paper trail."

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paper trail, paper trails, paper-trail, paper-trails, economics 101, economics, economic policy, economic policies, homework, schoolwork, school assignment, homework assignment, income, incomes, formula, formulas, equation, equations, finance, finances, financial, financials, homework help, role model, role models, dad, dads, role-model, role-models, bad, math homework, maths homework, unethical behaviour, unethical behavior, greed, greedy, greediness"Be still! There's a fine line between art and science."

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artist, artists, artwork, artworks, scientist, scientists, fine line, portrait, portraits, artist model, artist models, painter, painters, painting, model, models, portraiture, formula, formulas, equation, equations, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, muse, muses, inspiration, inspirationsNuclear Confusion

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physics, physicist, physicists, scientists, mix up, mix ups, confusion, lab, labs, laboratories, atom, atoms, scientist, chemistry, chemist, nuclear, radiation, numbers, uranium, math, formula, math formula, chemical formula, nuclear power, nuclear fusion, nuclear fission, phoneProgress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

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