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'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'
'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'
"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."
"I was neither rude, nor arrogant, nor disinterested. I apologize, it will never happen again, monsieur."