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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
"Sorry, still rerouting."
Tags:gps, parade, parades, carnival, carnivals, mistake, mistakes, reroute, rerouting, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, funeral bearer, funeral bearers, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, dark humour, black humour, float, floats, carnival float, carnival floats
Queer Eye for the Dead Guy
"This is our most popular model."
Chicken Funeral Planning.
"He isn't dead yet."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, died, mourn, mourning, old, old age, elderly, elder, elders, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, planning, arrangement, prepare, preparation, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, casket, coffin, senior living, neglected, forgotten, funeral director, funeral parlour, funeral home
"Would you please stop saying 'It's your funeral'. It's my husband's funeral."
Tags:black humour, dark humour, director, directors, directing, direction, movie director, movie directors, film director, film directors, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral director, funeral directors, insensitive, insensitivity, funeral party, funeral parties, insult, insults, insulting, disrespect, disrespectful, movie industry, the movie industry, film industry, the film industry
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
"Would you like his gun back? We'll have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers."
"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."
Tags:urn, urns, crematorium, crematoriums, funeral, funerals, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral plan, funeral plans, funeral planning, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, thinking outside the box, creative thinker, creative thinkers, creative thinking, think outside the box
'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'
'I'm sorry, but the comfort of our coffins has never been an issue before!'
"Wrong line, buddy."
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral home, wake, wakes, dead, death, dying, died, die, passed, passed away, celebration of life, remembrance of life, deceased, deceased person, deceased people, funeral procession, funeral processions, line, lines, buffet line, buffet, food, cannibalism, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, burial, burials, cremate, cremation, cremated, buried, funeral director, funeral directors, mourn, mourning, mourner, mourners, embalmer, embalmers, embalming
The mortician's lunch-box.
'It's our newest cremation model. Tank sold separately.'
"He wanted a viking funeral. Pop this on his head."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, wake, wakes, memorial service, memorial services, memorial, memorials, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, viking, vikings, history, historical, viking funeral, viking funerals, helmet, helmets, viking helmet, viking helmets, funeral director, funeral director, last request, last requests, last wish, last wishes, dying wish, dying wishes, funeral planning
Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.
"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."
"I'm afraid as a marketing strategy 'Two for One' doesn't work in the funeral business!"
Tags:management consultant, management consultants, funeral, funerals, offer, offers, tasteless, tastelessness, poor taste, funeral director, funeral directors, mortuary, mortuaries, coupon, coupons, two-for-one, 2-for-1, marketing, marketing, markets, funeral director, funeral directors, marketing genius, marketing geniuses
The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.
'Remind me to have a serious word with Mr Sillett over casual dress on a friday.'
'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'
Tags:cremation, cremations, urn, urns, funeral director, funeral directors, undertaker, undertakers, creynolds unwrapped, cow, cows, milk carton, milk cartons, milk jug, milk jugs, ice cream, ice-cream, cone, cones, funeral cost, funeral costs, cream, pun, puns, dairy farm, dairy farms, dairy produce
"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, middle age, middle aged, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral home, funeral director, funeral directors, lighten the mood, lightens the mood, lightening the mood, optimistic, optimism, booming business, booming businesses, windfall, windfalls, demand, market demand, growth industry, growth industries, grow old, grows old, growing old