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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
"Sorry, still rerouting."
Tags:gps, parade, parades, carnival, carnivals, mistake, mistakes, reroute, rerouting, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, funeral bearer, funeral bearers, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, dark humour, black humour, float, floats, carnival float, carnival floats
Queer Eye for the Dead Guy
Chicken Funeral Planning.
Tags:black humour, dark humour, director, directors, directing, direction, movie director, movie directors, film director, film directors, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral director, funeral directors, insensitive, insensitivity, funeral party, funeral parties, insult, insults, insulting, disrespect, disrespectful, movie industry, the movie industry, film industry, the film industry
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'
'I'm sorry, but the comfort of our coffins has never been an issue before!'
"Wrong line, buddy."
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral home, wake, wakes, dead, death, dying, died, die, passed, passed away, celebration of life, remembrance of life, deceased, deceased person, deceased people, funeral procession, funeral processions, line, lines, buffet line, buffet, food, cannibal, cannibalism, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, burial, burials, cremate, cremation, cremated, buried, funeral director, funeral directors, mourn, mourning, mourner, mourners, embalmer, embalmers, embalming
'It's our newest cremation model. Tank sold separately.'
The mortician's lunch-box.
Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.
"I'm afraid as a marketing strategy 'Two for One' doesn't work in the funeral business!"
Tags:management consultant, management consultants, funeral, funerals, offer, offers, tasteless, tastelessness, poor taste, bad taste, funeral director, funeral directors, mortuary, mortuaries, coupon, coupons, two-for-one, 2-for-1, marketing, marketing, markets, funeral director, funeral directors, marketing genius, marketing geniuses
"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."
The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.
'Remind me to have a serious word with Mr Sillett over casual dress on a friday.'
'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'
Tags:cremation, cremations, urn, urns, funeral director, funeral directors, undertaker, undertakers, creynolds unwrapped, cow, cows, milk carton, milk cartons, milk jug, milk jugs, ice cream, ice-cream, cone, cones, funeral cost, funeral costs, cream, pun, puns, dairy farm, dairy farms, dairy produce
"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, middle age, middle aged, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral home, funeral director, funeral directors, lighten the mood, lightens the mood, lightening the mood, optimistic, optimism, booming business, booming businesses, windfall, windfalls, demand, market demand, growth industry, growth industries, grow old, grows old, growing old
'Stop complaining. You knew I was a funeral director when you married me.'
"You grabbed Uncle Lars's casket again."
"You measured him! Does it shut?"
'For his funeral he said he wanted to have an open fruit basket.'
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral arrangement, funeral arrangements, fruit basket, fruit baskets, funeral service, funeral services, apple, apples, rotten fish, rotten fruit, rotten fruits, apple core, apple cores, last request, last requests, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors
"The death of a businessperson is especially sad."
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, funeral proceeding, death, business man, business men, business person, business people, business woman, business women, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, businesspeople, businesswoman, businesswomen, death, dying, executive, executives, business executives, business executives, speech, speeches, funeral director, funeral directors, grief, grieving, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, commercialism, consumerism, coffin, coffin, casket, caskets, funeral casket, funeral caskets, sad, sadness, saddening