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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
"I think it's his beeper."
Tags:beeper, beepers, pager, pagers, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, ring, rings, ringing, funeral, funerals, casket, caskets, wireless, signal, signals, faux pas, beeping, noise, noises, sound, sounds, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, disturb, disturbs, disturbing, wake, wakes, dead, dead body, dead bodies
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'
"No, the urns are pretty much one size fits all."
He's still in denial.
"Talk about your cut-rate operations...."
Tags:cut-rate, cut-rate operation, cut-rate operations, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, die, dies, dying, discount, discounted, discounting, cheap, cheapness, cut-rate price, cut-rate prices, bodybag, bodybags, body bag, body bags, corpse, corpses, bury, buries, burying, burial, burials, indifferent, uncaring, funeral industry, funeral industries, dark humor, black humor
Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.
"Trust me - he's going to a better place."
"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."
Jousting Knight Advertises for Funeral Home.
"Miss Gorce is in the embalming game."
"At least he went quick. Although not quick enough, I'm afraid. This discount coupon expired last month."
Tags:funeral home, discount coupon, funeral arrangements, death, dying, funeral, funerals, funeral cost, funeral costs, funeral homes, discount coupons, discount, discounts, undertaker, undertakers, getting a deal, frugal, tightwad, special offer, special offers, watch your pennies, expiry date, best before date
"You measured him! Does it shut?"
"You grabbed Uncle Lars's casket again."
'He always had to be the center of attention. You staying for the magic show?'
'I have to do this favor for my dad. It's just a 25-minute drive, a quick drop-off and then we can head to the movies.'
"He specifically asked to be buried with this. It's the sneering contempt for modern popular culture he wore as a badge of honor."
Tags:funeral, funeral home, funeral service, funeral services, funeral homes, last request, last requests, contempt, popular culture, sneer, sneering, snob, snobbery, scorn, disdain, disrespect, scornfulness, contemptuousness, elite, elitism, upper class, affectation, pretension, pretentiousness, arrogance, haughtiness, old school, oppose, change, curmudgeon, curmudgeonly, grouch, grouchy
Funeral home - You can run, but you can't formaldehyde.
'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'
Mortician's in and out baskets say in & under.
'...as you appear to be in the process of passing away, could I take a moment to make you aware of a special offer on coffins...'
Fester & Sons Funeral Home: 'Ashes to ashes.'
Man and woman at funeral parlor see sign, 'Ask about our Layaway Plan'.
"Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living."