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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'
'Sure, we called for a second opinion. That was six months ago.'
'Well this is just great!. . . She was my life coach.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'
'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'
"I'm well aware that being dead and buried has weakened my position in the corporation."
Tags:dead, status, status update, status updates, coffin, coffins, funeral, funerals, corporation, corporations, corporate mentality, corporate mentalities, weakened position, weakened positions, demotion, demote, demotes, demoted, demotions, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, executive, executives, dark humor, dark humour
"Please - no more specialists."
"He stayed sharp right up until the end."
"Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy."
Tags:frenzy, frenzied, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, die too young, dying too young, dead too young, fantasy, lament, laments, lamenting, mourn, mourns, mourning, mourner, mourners, too old, die too old, dying too old, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens
Tags:funeral, funerals, death, dead, die, died, viking funeral, viking, vikings, nordic, nord, history, historical, ancient, ancient history, oar, oars, boat, boats, shield, shields, row, rowing, fire, fired, fires, set on fire, alight, hearse, hearses, funerary, respect, respectful, burial, burials, buried
"I think it's his beeper."
Tags:beeper, beepers, pager, pagers, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, ring, rings, ringing, funeral, funerals, casket, caskets, wireless, signal, signals, faux pas, beeping, noise, noises, sound, sounds, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, disturb, disturbs, disturbing, wake, wakes, dead, dead body, dead bodies
"Sorry, still rerouting."
Tags:gps, parade, parades, carnival, carnivals, mistake, mistakes, reroute, rerouting, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, funeral bearer, funeral bearers, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, dark humour, black humour, float, floats, carnival float, carnival floats
"He makes it look so damn easy."
"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."
Tags:death, dead, burial, burials, memorial, memorials, funeral, funerals, burial service, burial services, memorial service, memorial services, funeral service, funeral services, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, gravestone, gravestones, headstone, headstones, grave, graves, marker, markers, mourner, mourners, mourning, grieving, bereaved, upgraded, upgrade, upgrades, first class, business class, travel, tourism, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, point, points, point card, point cards, heaven, after death, life after death, consumerism
"Eventually, Howard wants to dump himself in the Atlantic and serve as an artificial reef for fish."
Tags:artificial reef, artificial reefs, fish, fishes, atlantic, last will and testimony, funeral, funerals, mourner, mourners, mourning, reef, reefs, conservationist, marine conservation, marine conservationist, marine conservationists, marine life, sea life, ocean life, funeral service, funeral services, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, life goal, life goals
A Viking Funeral for my Goldfish
Tags:pet, pets, goldfish, fish, pet fish, dead fish, dead pet, dead pets, funeral, funerals, pet funeral, pet funerals, viking funeral, viking funeral, flushing goldfish, toilet, toilets, overkill, overdo, overdone, unnecessary, cremate, cremation, cremated, norse funeral, norse funerals, funeral pyre, funeral pyres
A funeral for a businessman.
"If that thing says one word, I'm leaving!"
Tags:funeral, funerals, ventriloquists dummy, ventriloquists dummies, ventriloquist's dummy, ventriloquists' dummies, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, dummies, creepy, creeped out, ventriloquism, ventriloquy, performer, performers, funeral service, funeral services, coffin, coffins, memorial service, memorial services
Tags:grandma, grandmas, grandmothers, grandparent, grandparents, burial, burials, bury, buries, burying, modern life, modern times, trend, trends, funeral, funerals, sendoff, sendoffs, send-off, send-offs, cremation, cremate, cremates, blast off, blasts off, blasting off, rocket, rockets, space travel, astronaut, astronauts, goodbye, goodbyes, saying goodbye
A Pac-man coffin
Tags:coffin, coffins, open casket, open caskets, open casket funeral, open casket funerals, funeral, funerals, death, dead, 80s video game, 80s video games, 80s arcade games, 80s arcade game, eighties video game, eighties video games, eighties arcade game, eighties arcade games, games, gaming, arcade, arcades, arcade game, arcade games, video game, vidoe games, computer game, computer games
I'd rather be alive
"If anyone's interested in taking over Ed's Instagram account, see me after the service."
"He isn't dead yet."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, died, mourn, mourning, old, old age, elderly, elder, elders, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, planning, arrangement, prepare, preparation, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, casket, coffin, senior living, neglected, forgotten, funeral director, funeral parlour, funeral home