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"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"I thought it came with an acorn."
Tags:squirrel, squirrels, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, bartender, bartenders, cocktail, cocktails, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, let down, let-downs, let-down, let downs, acorn, acorns, little umbrella, little umbrellas, martini, martinis, cocktail olive, cocktail olives, fussy, fussy customer, fussy customers, bar
"How fresh is your toil and trouble?"
Tags:double bubble toil and trouble, double double toil and trouble, toil and trouble, three witches, 3 witches, witch, witches, macbeth, shakespeare, william shakespeare, eating out, dining out, restaurants, bad customer, bad customers, soup, soup of the day, fussy customer, fussy customers, waiter, waiters, wait staff, waiting staff, waitstaff
"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."
Tags:parent, parents, label, labels, couture, designer, designers, designer clothes, designer clothing, name, names, named, naming, narcissist, narcissism, narcissistic, self-obsessed, picky, picky customer, fussy customer, fussy customers, customer service, customers, thrifty, spend thrift, spend thrifty, money, clothing, clothes, outfit, outfits
"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"
Tags:eating out, dining out, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, hipster, hipsters, millennial, millennials, organic, organic food, pesticide, pesticides, antibiotics, bad customer, bad customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, fussy eater, fussy eaters, modern life, modern attitudes, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, assume, assuming, assumption, assumptions, making assumption
"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."
"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."
"I sleep on my side, but I pass out on my stomach."
"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."
Tags:clown, clowns, circus, circuses, circus clown, circus clowns, circus performer, circus performers, complain, complaint, complaints, complaining, bad food, eating out dining out, sending it back, bad customer, bad customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, particular customer, particular customers, restaurant
'Dinner for two, table for seven.'
"My bouche was not amused."
Tags:eating out, dining out, bad food, fussy customer, fussy customers, expensive food, expensive dinner, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, mouth, bouche, french, french cuisine, french food, french restaurant, french restaurants
"There's nothing wrong with the food. I just needed a little attention."
Tags:eating out, dining out, restaurant, fine dining, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, waiting staff, eating alone, dining alone, lonely, loneliness, desperate, desperation, attention seeker, attention seekers, fussy customer, fussy customers, bad customer, bad customers, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints
"Please stick on a piece of lamb, then some green pepper, then some more lamb."
"I'd like a milk chocolate, turtle mocha, candy cane frappuccino, but don't make it too sweet."
'We won't need menus. Just bring whatever is cooked. They'll eat it and like it.'
'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'
'Well, at least this one ticks all your boxes!'
"I'd like something home reared, then meat for the lion, well done, no blood understand? The scarecrow has a seed intolerance and that guy over will eat anything out of a tin."
"Water, please – no ice. I don't want my water watered down."
"Okay, okay, we'll give you a refund!"