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'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'
'Well, for starters, I think it's about time for an alignment job.'
"Warp 1 - engage!"
Tags:warp 1, warp, warp drive, warp drives, hyperdrive, hyperdrives, warp speed, speed of light, space travel, space travels, space traveler, space travelers, space traveller, space travellers, pretend, pretends, pretending, delusions of grandeur, delusion, delusions, delusional, garage, garages, drive, drives, driving, driver, imagination, imaginations, imaginative, science fiction, geek, geeks, geeky, nerd, nerds, nerdy
"I don't know what's wrong, but, if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like your car is talking."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, garage, garages, workshop, workshops, repair, repairs, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, talking car, talking cars, hood, hoods, car hood, car hoods, bonnet, bonnets, car bonnet, car bonnets, open and close, wrong, problem, problems, bad mechanic, bad mechanics, bad service, bad customer service, useless
If we hired the same way we elect...
'What kind of a car wash is this place?'
"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."
Tags:mechanic, mechanics, repair, repairing, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, engineer, engineers, diagnose, diagnosis, problem, problems, broken, broke, car, cars, motor, motors, motorcars, motorcar, engine, engines, carburetor, understatement, obvious, clear, expert, technician, technicians, repairman, repairmen, clearly, obviously, jargon, garage, garages
'It's my car now, but as soon as it's fixed, it'll be my daughter's again.'
"So how's married life?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, newlywed, newlyweds, bride, bridges, groom, grooms, wedding, weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, wedding tradition, wedding traditions, just married, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, tin cans, ribbons, decorations, decorated, driving, transportation, fuel, gas, gasoline, petrol, petrol station, petrol stations, gas station, gas stations, gas pump, gas pumps, gasoline pump, gasoline pumps, petrol pump, petrol pumps, filling station, filling station, fuelling station, fuelling station, garage, garages, service station, service station, servo, servos, pumping gas, pumping petrol, attendant, attendants
"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, garage, garages, workshop, workshops, service station, service stations, repair, repairs, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, car repairs, vehicle repairs, transportation, problem, problems, mother in law, mother-in-law, in-law, in-laws, hissing, angry, anger, noise, noises, back seat, backseat, family, families, driver, drivers, driving, forgotten, forgot
'Ok! Let 'er rip, Harold!'
"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, garage, garages, workshop, workshops, service station, service stations, repair, repairs, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, car repairs, vehicle repairs, transportation, encounter group, encounter groups, group therapy, therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, problem, problems, transmission, transmissions, advertising, marketing, mental health
'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'
"I thought it would be cool to have one, but now I just use it for storage."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, car, cars, bike, bikes, motorbike, motorbikes, bicycle, bicycles, motorcycle, motorcycles, dinosaur, dinosaurs, triceratops, garage
'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'
'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'
"About three o'clock yesterday it was hot as hell. The dog was panting, making those clicky-clacky noises like a dog does, ya know. Jess heard the dog, and damn it if he didn't adjust Ferguson's valves and put on a new fan belt."
'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'
"One day Son all this will be yours."
Tags:old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, garage, garages, shed, sheds, storage, storage locker, storage lockers, storage room, storage rooms, storage unit, storage units, mess, messy, hoard, hoarder, hoarders, junk, stuff, collection, collections, death, heir, heirs, inherit, inheritance, inheritances, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, father, fathers, dad, dads, family, families, son, sons, adult child, storage centre, storage centres, storage center, storage centers, wordly possessions
Blow horn for service
'Regular' and 'Fabulous' Gasoline
'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'
Why Uncle Abe Still Lives Alone"You call that clean?"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, carwash, carwashes, car wash, car washes, filling station, filling station, fuelling station, fuelling station, garage, garages, service station, service station, servo, servos, attendant, attendants, complaint, complaints, complaining, chore, chores, never good enough, clean, cleaning, cleaner, cleaners, squeegee, squeegees, single, complainer, complainers, whiner, whiners, whining, nag, nags, nagging, bachelor, bachelors, picky, fussy, choosy, service, customer service, customer, customers, family, families, uncle, uncles, relative, relatives, living alone, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, grumpy, windshield, windshields, window, windows
'It has very low emissions - it's impossible to find a garage selling the fuel.'