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'Yes, dear. Cell phones and credit cards can work wonders. If you can make a shrinking-machine, a gas oven that works under water, and an apple pie like my mother used to bake, I'll be very impressed.'
"Quit griping! You said you wanted a light to see why the gas stove wasn't working. Well, a match is a light, isn't it?"
'Do you have any idea of the price of gas?'
You Left The Gas On...
'What a senseless waste. That gas will have to be paid for.'
'No, I don't know anything about faulty parachutes... Do you know anything about faulty gas ovens?'
'You'd think at those prices the gas would be toxic.'
When committing suicide using the gas oven method, only real masochists light the flame.