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'I've calculated that we've enough money for 2013 if we cancel February.'
Budget House of Cards
"So should we be publishing ours?"
"If we're going to fail to balance the budget again then we have to make sacrifices...and you're OURS!"
"Lefties will always complain about any changes to the benefits system...We could cut out the heart, that weights a bit!"
'We've enough money for next year if we cancel February.'
'I'd prefer the banks were re-formed and Destiny's Child split up.'
"I've heard Osborne wants Pink Floyd's 'Money' to be the new English anthem."
'We thought we'd better develop some new brands for our Scottish branches, just in case...'
'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'
'I'm not sharing my cell with a banker, they're not trustworthy enough.'
'I've just spoken to the Chancellor - we've got to turn it off.'
'It's odd, I keep cutting it, but it still refuses to get better!'
George Osborne, Autumn Statement - scissorhands.
'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'
'Oh dear. That's a bad sign.'
'Even you don't take that long to fix something.'
'I think we have got the big budget give away Chancellor, a sure vote winner, 10p off regular size bottles of shampoo for damaged hair.'
'They are new crunchy Osbornes. It says 'Avoid dipping more than twice'!'
"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"
'They're trying to stop us being irresponsible bastards!'
"What kind of fuel am I?"
'...such a comfort to know that he lived to see the ISA limit increased.'
'Hullo Chancellor. Remember when I was still a little puppy?'