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Bumper Stickers for Seniors.
"The knees are the first thing to go."
'I think you'll be interested in the next patient. He's ninety two years old and accompanied by his parents.'
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
"Well, dear, we finally finished reading all the manuals to life. Shall we go out and do some living now?"
"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."
Tags:wrinkle, wrinkles, prescription, prescriptions, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, medical exam, medical exams, medical examination, medical examinations, iron, irons, ironing board, ironing boards, household chore, chore, chores, laundry, geriatrics, old age, old-age, geriatrician, geriatricians
'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'
Guide To Elderly Services - Care & Don't Care.
Thank God for periodontal disease.
'Instead of looking for the Fountain of Youth, we should look for the Fountain of Age so we can take advantage of senior citizen discounts that are rampant in the New World.'
Puss n' scoot.
'You're taking this Grey Nomad stuff a bit seriously aren't you'
"Apparently the problem of dealing with 'adult care' can be easily solved..."
Tags:geriatrics, geriatric care, geriatric care management, oap, oaps, old-age, old age, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, old age pensioner, old age pensioners, old-age pensioner, old-age pensioners, elderly care, budget cut, budget cuts, cutback, cutbacks, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers
"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."
Tags:dementia, alzheimer's, alzheimers, alzheimer's disease, alzheimers disease, elderly, geriatric, geriatrics, old age, death, dying, heaven, gates of heaven, afterlife, afterlives, brain dead, brain death, mental health, brain disease, brain disorders, impaired reasoning, personality, changes, mental processes, memory loss, bliss
'It's a shame it took me so long to learn how to just enjoy being p**sed-off.'
"No worries. It's a normal part of aging. I'll give you a prescription for a higher pair of pants."
"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"
"I think you need a hearing test."
Tags:hearing test, heating tests, hearing exam, hearing exams, hearing problem, hearing problems, deaf, deafness, hearing loss, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, mishear, misheard, mishearing, listening, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, ent
Do Not Resuscitate or Bother Me!
Tags:resuscitation, resuscitations, dnr orders, dnr, do not resuscitate, grump, grumps, grumpy, old man, old men, deathbed, deathbeds, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds, patient, patients, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, patient care
"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."
Meadowhaven Acres: an assisted living hell for senior citizens.
"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."
"Nothing to be concerned about. Short-term memory foam loss is very common in a mattress your age."
"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."
Tags:wedding vow, wedding vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, geriatric care, life expectancy, life expectancies, pastor, pastors, priest, priests, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselling, premarital counselling, premarital counseling, pre-marital counseling, pre-marital counselling, engagement, engagements, wedding, weddings, geriatrics, married life
"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."
Tags:depression, depressed, mental health, mental state, dog food, dog foods, geriatric, geriatrics, dog owner, dog owners, canine, canines, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, pensioner, pensioners, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, dog, dogs, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons