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Baby Boomers will be 100 before they think they're 50.
'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'
Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.
Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.
Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'
"I'm not trying to alarm you, but your days are numbered."
Old dogs don't learn new tricks.
"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."
'Please be advised that due to longer lifespans eternity will be slightly shorter than it used to be.'
'Why Ponce De Leon didn't find the fountain of youth.
Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.
'What's holding him up?'
'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'
'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'