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"I hear you worked so many hours you passed out for 20 minutes. I just thought I'd make it clear that I'm not paying you for those 20 minutes."
'Of course I know the difference between right and wrong! Wrong pays better!'
Bonus, bonus! - we'll I got to keep the envelope my pay slip was in
"They pay a lot of money for you to do your homework, but I only get a smiley face."
'Since I plan on working for your company for the next 20 years, I was hoping to get all my paychecks up front.'
Business for monk scribes is booming now that folks realize supplying them with wine is cheaper than replacing printer ink cartridges.
'I feel like I should be getting paid just as much as the rest of the people who do nothing around here!'
'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'
Writer to Acquisitions Editor: 'Yes, I'm greatly influenced by others' writings ... particularly checks written by editors.'
'I'm sorry I made you stay up all night working unpaid on my apology for slavery speech.'
'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'
'He's my pay pal.'
'I heard you've been working so many hours you passed out for 20 minutes. For the record, you won't be paid for the time you didn't work.'
'I'll hire you on a trial basis...which means you won't get paid for the first ten years.'
'The problem is - I do get paid enough to take this aggravation.'
'Don't worry, I've got your severance package covered.'
'Excuse me, Sir, but I think your bonus may be leaking.'
'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'
'We can start you off with a weekly salary in the four figures...two if you don't count the decimal.'
'I hope the bill I sent you last month didn't have anything to do with the increase in your fees."
'No matter how many eggs you give me to pay off your bill the government will get half anyway."
'Aaah! All haltered and ready for me!...
'I love dogs. I love kids. But when they come in alone I'm not going to get paid."
'Sorry, Sir, but it is unethical to extend credit, because if I don't get paid, that means I'm working for less than my colleagues...
I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...