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There's less here than meets the eye.
My novel was about a man who constantly experienced a sense of deja vu...but then I realised someone had already written one!
'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'
'I had a dream that Oprah is going to recommend your book!'
'I know you see this as a 'coffee table' book, but might I suggest it would make a better 'under the wonky leg of a coffee table' book,,'
Prepare for the coming bull, or bear market?
"There's an editor out here with an unsolicited manuscript lodged in his throat."
He's just discovered that the 'two book deal' he was offered was JUST for two books.
'I still write all my novels longhand.'
Meet the plaguarist
That's the severance package, a book on Clipping Coupons to Make Ends Meet?
'It most certainly is not doggerel.'
Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.
''My Days at the Convent' ... Sister this is perfect for our Minimal Interest division.'
'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'
I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'
'Ah yes, your debut novel. What we need now is to get it typed, spellchecked, find a publisher... and yes - we're home and dried.'
Unpublished novelists of the world unite!
'Your manuscript is going straight to audio books, and...to video.'
What's the problem? Your short story is your novel minus every second word!
Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!
'I think you've stinted on the sex.'
"How can I be sure you can deliver the goods? All I've seen so far is a whole lot of posturing."