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'if you have to ask how much, you can't afford to influence a candidate.'
'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'
"The locket contains a strand of my DNA."
Tags:relationship, relationships, couple, couples, gift, gifts, present, presents, jewellery, jewelry, accessory, accessories, necklace, necklaces, locket, lockets, hair, strand, strands, dna, deoxyribonucleic acid, science, genetics, biology, modern romance, modern couple, modern couples, technology, intimate, personal, personalised, personalized
"We saved all your old diapers."
Tags:nappy, nappies, save, saves, saving, sentimental, sentiment, pack rat, pack rats, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, son, sons, attic, attics, nostalgia, nostalgic, gift, gifts, grown up, growing up, memento, mementos, dirty diaper, dirty diapers, inappropriate, health hazard, health hazards, unhealthy, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, mental health, mental health problem, mental health problems
"For our paper anniversary, he's going to assume my share of the national debt."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, ageing, aging, debt, in debt, paper anniversary, first year of marriage, anniversary, anniversaries, gift, gifts, present, presents, national debt
One of the three kings give Frankenstein's Monster a shoulder ride
Tags:three kings, three wise men, nativity story, nativity, bringing gifts, gift, gifts, gold frankincense and myrrh, gold, frankincense, myrrh, frankenstein, frankentein's monster, shoulder ride, shoulder rides, carry, carrying, carried, mary shelley, gothic novels, nineteenth-century literature, novel, novels, pun, puns, visual pun, visual puns, wordplay, play on words
"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."
Tags:flower, flowers, flower shop, flower shops, flower store, flower stores, florist, florists, bouquet, bouquets, buying flowers, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, romance, romantic, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, guilt, guilty, feeling guilty, gift, gifts, present, present, make-up, makeup, making up, apology, apologies, apologising, apologizing, saying sorry, rule of thumb, rules of thumbs, rule, rules, stem, stems, long-stemmed, advice, marital advice, relationship advice
"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, birthday, birthdays, happy birthday, gift, gifts, present, presents, wrapped, surprise, surprises, hint, hints, gift box, gift boxes, shopping, sold, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, questionable, suspicious, infomercial, infomercials, commercial, commercials, product, products, as seen on tv, celebration, celebrations
A panhandler with a sign that reads "From 1040 Schedule 'A' Line 15 Gifts by cash or check.."
Tags:beggar, beggars, begging, bum, bums, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, street person, street people, homeless, homelessness, living on the street, money, donation, donations, donating, charity, poverty, tax, taxes, filing taxes, tax deduction, tax deductions, irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, taxman, taxmen, accounting, accountant, accountants, form 1040, gift, gifts, cash, cheque, cheques, check, checks
'Well, don't just stand there Tommy! Open it up and see what's inside!'
The Wunderkind At Work
Tags:wunderkind, child prodigy, child prodigies, butter up, butters up, buttering up, parent, parents, ask, asks, asking, practice, practices, practicing, practise, practises, practising, study, studies, studying, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, convince, convinces, convincing, first car, first cars, gift, gifts, present, presents
"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"
"I guess this explains why everybody has had to buy their own Christmas presents since we were kids."
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"Soon, felllas, soon."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, santas sleigh, reindeer, christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, cuba, communism, communist, communists, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, present, presents, gift, gifts, materialism, commercialism, materialist, cuban government, banned christmas
'I got you something to save time this Christmas.'
Tags:christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, present, presents, gift, gifts, save time, saves time, time saver, time savers, christmas light, christmas lights, tangle, tangles, tangled, tangling, wire, wires, mess, messes, messy, decoration, decorations, decorated, decorating, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
"Oh wow, Countdown to End Times calendar, no, Dean, I don't already have one. Um, Happy New Year to you too."
Tags:calendar, calendars, present, presents, gift, gilfs, bad present, bad presents, bad gift, bad gifts, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, weird colleague, weird colleagues, new year, happy new year, new years gift, end times, end of the world, doomsday, doomsdayer, doomsdayers, apocalypse
'That's a nice gift, Bobby, but I asked for SHIP in a bottle.'
"I had a wonderful time. I just wish you were Oprah giving away cars."
Tags:oprah, oprah winfrey, giveaway, giveaways, handout, handouts, hand out, hand outs, free car, free cars, new car, new cars, car, cars, date, dates, dating, single life, expectation, expectations, expectant, expecting, unrealistic, rich, riches, rich person, rich people, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, gift, gifts, free gift, free gifts
'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'
'I think when the charity said you could 'buy a goat for Xmas' they meant for the third world.'
"We could always regift it."
"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrations, easter, easter bunny, easter bunnies, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, judgemental, judging, good, bad, subjective, arbitrary, gift, gifts, present, presents