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'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'
'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'
"Can't decide? Why don't I bring you a gift certificate. You could give it to someone who can."
'A gift certificate to get my nails done for an anniversary gift? I'm declawed!'
'Wow! Thanks, Joy! Two gift certificates for dinner at Maudlins!'
'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'
'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'
'I want to cash this gift certificate. I'll never use it.'
'I couldn't decide so I'm giving a gift certificate.'
'You're being hostile. A gift certificate for a psychiatric session!'
Customer Service: 'I'd like to exchange this gift certificate for a larger size.'
"Papi, for Father's Day, I got you a certificate. I made it myself!"