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'My labor was a breeze! Nine minutes and out he came!'
'Thank God we're cute. You only get one chance to make a good first impression.'
Maternity Ward - Push Hard.
Penguin giving birth
"Your wife wants a report on your condition."
Tags:maternity, maternity ward, maternity wards, mother, mothers, parent, parents, parenting, report, reports, anxious, anxiety, anxieties, wait, waits, waiting, dad, dads, father, fathers, pregnant, pregnancy, pregnancies, give birth, gives birth, giving birth, update, updates, status, status report, status reports
"I won't have kids until gay men are able to give birth in every state."
Tags:kids, equality, equal rights, human rights, liberal, liberals, self-righteous, self-righteousness, gay, gay marriage, legal, legality, have kids, having kids, have children, having children, start a family, starting a family, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses, selfish, selfish lifestyle, selfish lifestyles, birth, give birth, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtqia, good intentions, family planning
"This machine simulates the pain of childbirth."
Tags:women, pain, painful, labor pain, labor pains, contraction, contractions, simulate, simulates, simulating, simulation, simulations, feminist, feminists, feminism, childbirth, birth, give birth, gives birth, giving birth, exercise, exercises, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machines, pregnant, pregnancy, pregnancies, expecting, hurt, hurts, hurting, painful experience, painful experiences
"Ah, Mr Trubshaw. There you are. Your wife has just started having contradictions."
'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'
Too posh to push - Cesarean Clinic.
"I'm afraid we've had to cut back on maternity leave but we can delegate someone to 'Oooh' and 'Aaah' when the baby's born!"
Tags:maternity, maternity leave, benefits, job benefits, cut, cuts, cutback, cutbacks, cost-saving measure, cost-saving measures, sexism, sexist, wage gap, wage gaps, pregnancy, pregnancies, career, careers, working woman, working women, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, give birth, gives birth, giving birth
'Would the father like to gnaw through the umbilical cord?'
Just one last push! It's like a scene from alien...
The age of passwords.
'...and if it's a girl we'll call her Ripley...'
'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'
Pregnant vs. Old.
"Congratulations! It's a sitcom!"
Tags:sitcom, sitcoms, congratulations, sitcom, sitcoms, writer, writers, creator, creators, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, television, studio, tv studio, tv studios, taken to series, waiting room, waiting rooms, birth, give birth, giving birth, baby, babies, green light, greenlit, green lit, series, tv series, television series, showrunner, showrunners, showrunning, film industry, television industry, creative process
'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'
'Don't worry Judy. We have a new procedure for difficult births. We simply insert a Slip 'n slide, turn on the sprinkler and whoosh!'
'... and next time you give birth in the back of a taxi, tell the driver to switch off the meter.'
'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'
'Welcome to pre-natal kindergarten. First we'll review your pre-born's cirriculum and then I'll assign womb numbers.'