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'It's a bird, it's a plane...it's superman! Oh brother, a bird and a plane aren't even close to the same size...I really need some new glasses.'
'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'
'I need a 'parent of three teens'-size glass.'
'I'm not sure if I'm an optimist or a pessimist. . . I see the glass half-clean.'
Eye Test Writer's Block.
'Is this where they're conducting the focus group?'
'You really need glasses, dear. You're starting to annoy me.'
Priest getting stained glass glasses.
Deep dish bourbon
The Pessimist, the Optimist and Uncle Stan.
'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'
"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."
'Can we swap glasses? It might help me see your point of view!'
'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'
"Well looks like it's time for eye glasses."
"I found them."
"Waiter! My glass is half empty."
Tags:waiter, waiters, server, servers, glass, glasses, half-empty, half empty, pessimist, pessimists, pessimism, pessimistic, outlook, outlooks, attitude, attitudes, restaurant staff, restaurant worker, restaurant workers, negative attitude, negative attitudes, attitude problem, attitude problems, mental state, mental health, outlook, outlooks, refill, refills
"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."
Tags:braces, glasses, nerd, nerds, nerdy, nerdiness, late bloomer, late bloomers, rejection, rejections, rejecting, cool, coolness, popular, popular kid, popularity, popular kids, unpopular, class reunion, class reunions, reunion, reunions, glasses, messiah, messiahs, christ, jesus christ, christian, christians, christianity, recognition, recognize, recognizes, recognizing, cool kid, cool kids, loser, losers, reject, rejects, rejection, rejections
"Hold on, I'm going to conference in my wrist."
Tags:modern life, modern world, modernity, tech, technological, watch, watches, glasses, glass, monitor, gadget, gadgets, futurism, futuristic, conference, conferencing, call, calling, calls, caller, callers, video, video call, tablet, tablets, laptop, laptops, cell, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, phone, phones, multi task, multi-task, multi tasking, multi-tasking
"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."
Tags:wine, wines, connoisseur, connoisseurs, sommelier, sommeliers, waiter, waiters, server, servers, breathe, let it breathe, glass, glasses, resuscitate, resuscitates, resuscitating, cpr, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, drinking, drinks, drink, alcohol, restaurant, restaurants, wine glass, compare, comparison, overreaction, overreact, overreacts
The agony of getting older.
Tags:top tier pun, pun, puns, punny, play on words, word-play, word play, pants, trouser, trousers, language, dialect, dialects, american pun, americanised, american english, pince nez, pince-nez, nez, pince, glasses, reading glasses, visual, visual gag, visual joke, fashion, fashions, fashionable, accessories, accessory
"It's a very mild prescription but these Italian frames seem to have a placebo effect"
'In my opinion your blurred vision is caused by the axe in your head. But you may want a second opinion.'