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'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
'And now, Dr. Wagner and Dr. Avery will demonstrate, through interpretive dance, how inflation in developing nations impacts the formation of global monetary policies!'
Most Likely to Succeed
'The stimulus package doesn't seem to be working,'
The first green shoots of recovery.
'We realize it is an unnecessary department, but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'
"Italy just bought France."
We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!
Since cutting their market research budget management had to find alternative ways of planning their marketing strategy.
Standard & Poor's Downgrade
'This is going to be very painful. Here, bite on this stick.'
''Travel the world teaching crass, shallow and exploitative American-style consumerism.' Hey, I could do THAT!'
'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'
'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'
The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.
'Are you feeling better, Mr. Global economy?'
Why China's carbon footprint is so large.
"There's an INDICATION that we MAY be looking at the POSSIBILITY of a POTENTIAL partial recovery over the SHORT or LONG term ...But I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"
'Our study shows that good old American 'know how' now consists of getting tech support from India, buying cars from Japan, and clothes from China.'
'Hey, great! I can't wait to see how my Enron, AIG and GM stocks are doing.'
"To get through this recession we all need to make sacrifices...and this is YOURS!"
'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'
"We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!
Bankruptcy Hut: painless, easy, no waiting.
"I'm talking violent overthrow, bombings, terror in the streets - and you keep talking about balance of credit, loans from friendly powers, gross national product? What kind of a revolutionist ARE you?"
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