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'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'
G.P.S. satellites gone bad
The Inevitable Navigation System: 'You have arrived at your destination.'
Why you need to be specific with a G.P.S.: 'You have arrived at the most exciting destination of your life...'
'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'
'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'
'I wonder what the telematics will make of this.'
"According to my PDA's global positioner, I'm right where I should be."
'This really is the road less traveled. I can't find it on my Google Map.'
'My job as a carrier pigeon is a lot easier now I am using the GPS.'
"Your estimated arrival time is 6:38. . . but you won't find parking until 7:04."
"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."
'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'
'Well, I'm lost. NURSE! MY GPS!'
'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'
'You never ask me for directions, Carl.'
Moses and the wandering years. Another theory.
"All this cheap GPS says is that we're getting warmer!"
'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'
"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"