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"I start every diet with the best intentions, but it goes to hell as soon as I sense blood in the water."
Tags:diet, diets, dieter, dieters, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, weight problem, instinct, instincts, instinctive, primal instinct, primal instincts, blood, shark, sharks, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food-chain, diet plan, diet plans, good intention, good intentions, best intention, best intentions
Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.
'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'
The self-esteem police go to the olympics
Tags:olympics, olympics games, sport, sports, sports competition, sports competitions, self-esteem, self-esteem police, participation award, participation awards, wrapped in cotton wool, wrap in cotton wool, overprotective, overprotectiveness, pc brigade, good intentions, good intention, failure, fail, loser, losers, losing
Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."
Tags:gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers, exercise, fitness, exercising, gym equipment, exercise equipment, exercise machine, exercise machines, working out, sit, sitting, stare, staring, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, technology, bored, boredom, good intentions, lazy, laziness, procrastination, going to the gym, modern life
Do you accept Bitcoin?
Tags:homeless, homelessness, beggar, beggars, begging, beg, panhandle, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, poor, poor people, electronic currency, currency, digital money, decentralized, decentralised, bank, banks, money, electronic cash, millennial, millennials, ignorant, ignorance, donate, donations, donation, charity, charitable, good intentions
"Yes, we should work on that bad thing that affects you."
Tags:cartoonathon, anti-racism, white privilege, racism, discrimination, discriminate, discriminating, urgent, urgency, black, african-american, african-americans, liberal, liberals, liberalism, casual, indifference, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, good intentions, priority, priorities, wait, waits, waiting, long wait, long waits
"I won't have kids until gay men are able to give birth in every state."
Tags:kids, equality, equal rights, human rights, liberal, liberals, self-righteous, self-righteousness, legal, legality, have kids, having kids, have children, having children, start a family, starting a family, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses, selfish, selfish lifestyle, selfish lifestyles, birth, give birth, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtqia, good intentions, family planning
"Apparently, too much of a good thing is a bad thing."
"You had good intentions. Let's find you a nice job paving roads."
Good intentions last a month on average
Tags:good intentions, good intention, new year's resolution, new year's resolutions, new years resolution, new years resolutions, goal, goals, ambition, ambitions, gym, gyms, gym membership, gym memberships, good intentions, good intention, ice cream, ice cream parlor, ice cream parlour, ice cream parlors, ice cream parlours, pop-up, pop up, condition, overweight, new year, new years day
New Year's resolutions only last for about a month
Democrats: Dreaming of doing good works.
"The freed hostages were then offered counseling. Most refused and had to be rounded up and forced to go."
"Master, what is the best thing I can do for the poor?"
'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'
To Do List: Get out of bed.
"I freeze all my leftovers until I feel less guilty about throwing them away."
Tags:food, food waste, reducing food waste, leftover, leftovers, saving, save, freeze, freezing, freezer, freezer food, good intentions, good intention, guilt, guilty, doing your bit, doing my bit, saving the planet, save the planet, middle-class problems, first world problems, middle-class problem, first world problem
"I merely wanted to create an atmosphere ripe for creativity, Instead I embezzed all our operating capital."
Tags:executive, corporate babble, executives, business executive, corporate jargon, business executives, manager, corrupt, corruption, managers, business manager, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, business managers, boss, bosses, embezzling, embezzle, embezzlement, embezzler, embezzlers, matter of fact, good intentions, creative atmosphere, creative atmospheres
Film at 11.
"Sure, I'll pitch in. As long as it's for a good cause." Do-gooders in Hell
Your Good Intentions at Work
Tags:good intentions, road to hell, roads to hell, paved with good intentions, cliche, cliches, roadwork, roadworks, road work, repair, repairs, builder, builders, construction, construction work, construction worker, construction workers, pave, paves, paving, intention, intentions, best of intentions, sins, sinning, hell, afterlife, afterlives
"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."
Tags:refrigerator, refrigerators, fridges, fridge, kitchen appliances, salesmanship, sales person, sales people, salesman, salesmen, obesity epidemic, fat epidemic, obesity, over eating, good intentions, high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty, sales pitch, sales pitches, customer service, dieting, losing weight, weight watchers, planning meals, willpower
'I collect exercise videos...Every evening I have cheesecake and hot chocolate while I watch them.'
'I hate 'make a difference day'.'