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"First it was no football, now it's no money. I don't think they know what they're doing."
"The Pentagon is not getting nearly as much pie as they used to get."
'Today in class, I'll be showing you how to have an afternoon nap.'
"With a bit o luck we may be over the worst of it!"
"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"
"The manifestos have made it clear which parts of the economy all the political parties have agreed to 'ring fence'."
"It could be worse, the new cabinet does want to make the public aware of social workers roles."
"The service users heard about the plan to let consumers take over the running of their services...which they've done!"
"Could we make it an ASBO offence to be poor?"
'..I'm dying to check out the new 'Fiscal Cliff' thrill ride.'
'If it's a mystery you're after, how about what the council are doing closing libraries?'
'I believe the use of elastic- bands is down to the new government defence cut-backs!'
The cutbacks were beginning to bite at the local council...
'Okay, so we can't soak the rick, we can't soak the poor, we can't soak the middle class. . . who can we soak?'
'We'll be losing a whole hour every day - these government cutbacks are getting ridiculous!'
'Hello, emergency services?... Quick, send the PCSOs. There's been a trivial crime!'
'Following government cuts, this is your new kit bag.'