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Safety Tips from the American Council to Avoid Static Shocks
'Michelle and I are committed to fighting obesity...in children.'
Don't Do Jack and the Beanstalk.
'I now know why Obama is so much into drones. . . it's a democrat's mantra.'
Components of the program vs. funds.
"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."
"If all this healthcare debate makes my head explode, will our current plan cover it?"
"I no longer sit up and beg. I fax grant requests to foundations."
Where tax money goes...
'Will that be cash, credit, or some kind of Government entitlement program?'
'Here's an optimistic touch. My social security check was mailed with a ‘Forever Stamp.''
Pretty Soon: Social Security Payment, ca. 2040
"It's strange...the hungrier I get, the less indignant I feel about the state of the federal deficit."
"Hah! We won! Now we can start cutting entitlements, spending, and the size of government!!"
GPS (Government Programs Shutdown)