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"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"
Tags:mba, mbas, m.b.a., m.b.a.s, business masters, masters in business administration, graduate, graduates, graduation, graduating, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, depression, depressed, depressing, useless, useless degree, useless degrees, recession, recessions, crash, crashes, market crash, market crashes
"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."
Tags:speaker's fee, speakers fee, guest speaker, guest speakers, graduate, graduates, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, bright future, bright futures, graduations, graduations, economic downturn, climate crisis, recession, bad news, future, futures, bleak, student, students, dishonest, dishonesty
"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."
Tags:creditor, creditors, crediting, student, students, debt, debts, student debt, student debts, graduate, graduates, graduating, graduation, student loan, student loans, loan, loans, banking, big bank, big banks, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, valedictorian, valedictorians, rising cost, rising costs, tuition, tuition fee, tuition fees, fee, fees, cost, costs, college, colleges, university, universities, overpriced, degree, degrees
'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'
"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."
Tags:lesson, lessons, lecture, lectures, subject, subjects, enlightenment, enlightening, insight, wisdom, religion, prerequisite, necessary, essential, requirement, requirements, graduate, graduate course, degree, degrees, module, modules, course, courses, graduate-level, graduate level, university, university level, invest, invests, investing, derivatives, derivatives, alternative, alternatives, contradict, contradictory, contradiction, unnecessary, oppose, opposite
'Graduating with a total college loan debt of $120,000, Marissa Kulver...'
"To what do I owe this honor?"
"Your high school diploma, and your voter registration."
Tags:graduate, graduating, graduation, graduations, high school, high schools, high school graduation, high school graduations, diploma, diplomas, voter, voters, voting, register, registering, registration, registrations, earn, earns, earning, pass, passed, passing, grade, grades, qualification, qualifications, qualified, teacger, teachers
'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'
home School graduation.
"He's a nice young man, but are you sure he's an M.B.A.?"
Tags:masters, masters degree, masters diploma, grad, grads, graduate, graduates, business administration, university, universities, uni, university degree, university degrees, college, colleges, college degree, college degrees, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, counting, counting on fingers, finger counting, math, maths, mathematics
"A final word of thanks to those hard working scholars: The Term-Paper Ghostwriters."
Tags:graduation, graduations, graduate, graduates, ghostwriter, ghostwriters, ghostwriting, plagiarism, plagiarist, plagiarists, academic, academics, term paper, term papers, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, intellectual property, intellectual property theft, scholar, scholars, academia, cheater, cheaters.
'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'
'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'
'Because when you're old and lonely, you'll get mail from your alumni association. That's why you need to graduate from college.'
"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."
Tags:social security, retire, retires, retired, retirement fund, retirement funds, graduate, graduates, graduated, college, colleges, adulthood, adults, post graduate, postgrad, postgrads, post grad, post grads, career, careers, career path, career paths, career counselor, career counselors, career counsellor, career counsellors, indecision, indecisive, university, wishy-washy
Graduation day at drone school.
"Sometimes I think we want this more than he does."
Tags:student, students, graduate, graduates, graduations, graduation, college student, college graduate, college graduates, college graduation, university, universities, university student, university student, university students, university graduate, university graduates, university graduation, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, over parent, over parenting, overparent, overparenting, lazy, laziness, unmotivated, dependent, immature, immaturity, passive, passivity, childish
'What do I do now?'
One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.
"No, not Yale. A fork in the road."
Graduation Day At Telekinesis School
Tags:telekinesis, telekinetic, psychic, psychics, psychic power, psychic powers, supernatural, super natural, graduate, graduation, congrats, congratulate, congratulations, college, college grad, grad school, university, university, cap, cap and gown, throw the cap, in the air, air, floating, float, floats, visual gag, image gag, visual joke, play on words, word play, word-play, medium, graduation day, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies
Graduating from an online university.
'Graduation - Now you can do your own laundry.'