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'What do I do now?'
'I will now announce the names of the graduates, in the order of the starting salaries offered to them.'
"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"
"Alright, I got my degree. Now where is this ticket I'm supposed to be able to write?"
Tags:mortarboard, graduations, graduates, degrees, diplomas, universities, colleges, students, job markets, graduate job, graduate jobs, graduate, graduation, diploma, degree, university, college, student, parents, write, ticket, write your own ticket, jobs, future, job market, unemployment, auditorium, ceremony, ba, bachelors degree, undergraduate, ivy league
Graduate Job Openings
"What is it about the firm's global presence that most appealed to you?"
Jobs for graduates
Tags:graduate, graduates, overqualified, starting jobs, starting job, shelf stacker, shelf stacking, job, jobs, graduate jobs, graduate job, low wages, low wage, economy, part time work, degree, degrees, university degree, job market, unemployable, lack of experience, advanced mathematics, counting tins, counting beans, humiliation, humiliating, undignified, dignity, pride, swallow your pride, swallowing pride
"When I think of the as yet undreamed of loopholes that are going to be available to you guys!"
"Sorry, but I don't see anything useful here, given today's economy."
Tags:socrates, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, career counselor, career counselors, careers counselor, careers counselors, careers adviser, careers advisers, career adviser, career advisers, job, jobs, humanities, degree, degrees, diploma, diplomas, qualifications, graduate job, graduate jobs, job market, job markets
"Please, go ahead of me. I've got a better chance of getting the job, anyway."
"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."
Tags:crowdsource, crowdsources, crowdsourcing, crowd-source, crowd-sourcing, crowd-sources, employment, job market, job markets, hr, human resources, personnel, employment opportunity, employment opportunities, graduate, graduates, graduate job, graduate jobs, graduate job market, graduate job markets, crowdfunding, crowdfund, crowdfunds, crowd funding, crowd fund, crowd funds
School of Baristas
"It's a perfect position for you...You'll be able to use your degree in advanced Mathematics to count the tins you're stacking!"
Tags:graduate job, graduate jobs, job market, job markets, recruitment agency, recruitment agencies, overqualified, overqualification, over-qualified, interview, interviews, recruit, recruitment, interview, graduate job, graduate jobs, qualification, qualifications, shelf stacker, shelf stacking, career path, career advancement, career advancements
'As an intern of course you get all the menial work to do - we're trying to prepare you for the type of job you're likely to get when you graduate!'
Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing
Tags:college, waiters, restaurants, bachelor of arts, women's clothing stores, lottery, college education, college educations, colleges, university, universities, degree, degrees, qualification, qualifications, practical skill, practical skills, job skill, job skills, graduate job, graduate jobs, bachelor degrees
'Here's where you'll work! I know it's confusing, however we will have paid training for you.'
"There's a clamour for training to be more relevant..."
Congratulations, Graduate! You're going to be working for peanuts...but with that diploma you'll be getting a whole lot more of them!
Tags:graduate, graduation, graduate wage, graduate wages, graduate salary, graduate salaries, graduate job, graduate jobs, elephants, elephant, peanut, peanuts, zoo, zoos, job market, job markets, higher education, diploma, diplomas, degree, degrees, graduate scheme, graduate schemes, career, careers, career path, career paths
'That won't get you the job, you might however be able to make a fiver from the frame'
'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'
'It's a shame that with all your qualifications you weren't able to find a training placement...'
". . . and what will you do with your advanced arts degree now that we no longer have any culture?"
"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."