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'You know, back when I was a kid, all we needed to have fun was an old tin can... that and a really low standard for what was fun.'
'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'
'Well this is awkward.'
"I found grandpa's old cough!"
"How about one of those sunny old grandpas who make things look honest?"
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"Grandpa's up there somewhere."
"There I go again, telling stories that make you an accessory after the fact."
Tags:accessory after the fact, accessories after the fact, criminal, criminals, crime, crimes, old crime, old crimes, past crime, past crimes, cold case, cold cases, telling stories, grandparent, grandparents, granddad, granddads, grandchild, grandchildren, granddaughter, granddaughters, bad influence, bad influences
'I'm a grandfather. How would you like it if someone mugged your grandfather.'
Lincoln's last heir, like many descendants of great men, wasn't above cashing in on his great-grandfather's fame.
Tags:lincoln, lincolns, heir, heirs, descendant, descendants, cash, cashing, grandfather, grandfathers, grandpa, grandpas, granddad, granddads, fame, famous, luggage, boots, address, book, books, planner, planners, t-shirt, shirt, t shirt, bullet, bullets, grandson, grandsons, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"I'm not speaking to you as a Republican or as an American. I'm speaking to you as your grandfather."
Tags:republican, republicans, american, americans, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandparent, grandparents, grandkid, grandkids, grandson, grandsons, life lesson, life lessons, lecture, lectures, family life, wise words, wise-words, family-life, mentor, mentors, mentoring, mentorship
"Well, sir, there was A.T. & T. at 264, Steel dropping by the minute and Wall Street going mad! - You're sure I'm not boring you?"
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bed-time story, bed-time stories, bore, bores, boredom, children's story, children's stories, grandpa, grandpas, granddad, granddads, grandfather, grandfathers, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, grandchildren, dad, dads, family life, family-life, businessmen, businessman, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts, work addiction, work addictions
'The best revenge is outliving your enemies. I just wish I could remember who they were!'
"The country grandpa came from was a stinking hellhole of unspeakable poverty where everyone was always happy."
Tags:grandparent, grandparents, granddad, granddads, grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, generations, old age, old people, elderly, elder, elders, grandchild, grandchildren, granddaughter, granddaughters, grandson, grandsons, ancestry, ancestors, ancestor, immigrant, immigrants, immigration, grumpy old man, grouch, grouchy, crotchety
"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, grandparent, grandparents, granddad, granddads, grandchild, grandchildren, grandkid, grandkids, justice, law, legal, story, stories, story time, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, adult kids, adult children, adult child, adult kid
"I better go. The grandkids are euthanizing Doris + me tonight."
Tags:grandkid, grankids, grandchild, grandchildren, euthanizing, euthanasia, euthanized, grandma, grandmas, grandmother, grandmothers, granddad, granddads, grandfather, grandfathers, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, assisted suicide, assisted suicides, population control, ageism, ageist, ageists
Grandparents and technology
"You didn't ask me about my grandchildren."
"Was geography any easier when you were my age, Grandpa? Back when the world was flat?"
Tags:geography, geography lesson, geography lessons, flat-earth theory, flat earth theory, flat-world theory, flat world theory, generation gap, generation gaps, old-age, old age, homework, schoolwork, assignment, assignments, schooling, granddad, granddads, grandkid, grandkids, grandfather, grandfathers, granddaughter, granddaughters
"How can I put this so you'll understand? Late last night...your grandfather...ran out of 1Ups."
'That's Grandpa's main data processing system.'
"Mr. Culner is survived by his wife, the former Janice Dexter; one son, Horace, Jr.; and three grandchildren."
Tags:grandparent, grandparents, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandpa, grandpas, grandchildren, grandchild, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, reading, reading to children, quality time, obituary, obituaries, newspaper, newspapers, media, notification, notifications, family, families, death, dead, die, died, dying
"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"
Tags:nursing home, nursing homes, retirement home, retirement homes, old people's home, old people's homes, elderly home, elderly homes, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, pensioner, pensioners, escape plan, escape plans, escape, escapes, necktie, neckties, father's day, fathers day, grandpa, grandpas, gramp, gramps, grampa, grampas, granddad, granddads, breakout, breakouts, break out, break outs
'Grandfather...what was so good about the old days?'
"Would you please stop saying, 'We have lift off' every time I stand up."
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandparent, grandparents, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, grandchildren, lift off, lift offs, lift-off, lift-offs, rocket, rockets, rocket launch, rocket launches, kid, kids, toy, toys, childhood, disrespectful, disrespecting, family life, family-life
"Gramps, how do these things work?"