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"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."
'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'
'Why do I have to do it?!'
'Good vacations come with bathrooms.'
'I can't believe mom would rather clean the bathroom!!'
'I know a trap when I see one.'
'80 million really fat people are dying to tell you.'
'Can't you do something about her?'