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'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'
"I don't need to check again. You're not on this list."
St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'
'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'
'The car can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'
And that's how Palestine became the first nation to defeat the Mongols.
"It was a small wedding. Just his family and mine, so only about 40,000 guests."
"Most people accept our party invitations. We robocall them into submission."
'Oh dear. I don't know a soul.'
'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'
"This year, I want our Christmas party to be cozy...small...intimate...we're inviting immediate family only!"
'You're friends of. . . who did you say?'
"We're in, the Pentagon Christmas party guest list"
Bouncer picks out good-looking woman in queue for heaven. Man says: 'This, I did not expect.'
'Well, I don't got no Mother Nature on the guest list!'
Jean and Sam - "Sorry, luv - No Jeans!"