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Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.
"You each claim to be the child's mother yet one of you sold your story to the national enquirer."
'We're not intrusive - we keep a respectable distance.'
Crisis? What crisis? Gutter press!
'They can't comment... They've all bunked off to the pub.'
Editor says to journalist: 'I'm looking for a reporter who is imaginative. I did just say 'investigative', didn't I?'
A Mouse Reading the 'Gutter Press'.
"So, how did you end up in the gutter press ?"