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"My client wants half, plus another fifteen per cent to cover my fees."
Tags:solomon, king solomon, judgement of solomon, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, judge, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyers feeds, attorneys fees, solicitors fees, custody case, custody hearing, custody hearings, baby, babies, mother, mothers, half, heartless lawyer, heartless lawyers
"I just hope I can do half as well with my future as you did with yours."
"Where once there was one sandwich-now there are two!"
Tags:magic, magic show, magic shows, performance, performances, entertainment, magician, magicians, magic act, magic acts, magic trick, magic tricks, trick, tricks, saw, saws, saw in half, half, sandwich, sandwiches, sub, subs, submarine sandwich, submarine sandwiches, baguette, baguettes, deli, sandwich shop, sandwich shops, sandwich store, sandwich stores, cafe, cafes, restaurant, restaurants, bad magician, bad magicians
'He just snapped.'
"For what it's worth, 'Yo-ho-ho and chilled Pinot Grigio' actually rhymes."
Tags:pirate, pirates, yarr, peg leg, peg legs, hook, hooks, hook hand, pirate captain, amputate, amputations, half and half, half, halfs, limbs, blown off, blown-off, missing limb, missing limbs, body bits, limb, loss of limb, amputated, pirate captain, play on words, word play, word-play, pirate ship, pirateer, privateer, privateers, buccaneer, buccaneers, rhyme, rhymes, sea shanty, sing, singing, song, songs, masculinity, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, preference
"We're in luck - it's Father Time-and-a -Half."
Frederik-Freda: half man - half woman
'Boy, there's nothing more embarrassing that being a werewolf during a partial lunar eclipse.'
'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'
The Top Part of Owen B. Jenkins.
"Half of me loves being a pirate, and half of me regrets it."
Tags:pirate, pirates, yarr, peg leg, peg legs, hook, hooks, hook hand, pirate captain, amputate, amputations, half and half, half, halfs, limbs, blown off, blown-off, missing limb, missing limbs, body bits, limb, loss of limb, amputated, pirate captain, play on words, word play, word-play, pirate ship, pirateer, privateer, privateers, buccaneer, buccaneers, career, careers, career choice, career choices, career change, change career
"I can't believe he brought her."
Tags:magic, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, magic show, magic shows, assistant, assistants, party, parties, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, dating, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, sawing, sawed, half, halves, top half, bottom half, ex, exes, former, previous, jealous, jealousy
'I don't care what she says. If I want to go out for a swift half nothing is going to stop me.'
'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'
"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"
Tags:pessimist, pessimism, pessimists, pessimistic, half full, half, full, half empty, empty, desert, deserts, lost, wilderness, wasteland, desert, deserts, cactus, neet, quit, quits, quitter, quitting, give up, giving, up, giving up, determined, determination, mirage, ignorant, ignorance, ignored, ignoring, perfectionists, perfectionist
'This is Jan. My better half.' 'Really, Tom... More like two-thirds.'
'I'm losing my touch... I only scared him half to death...'
'And there's the horn to end the first half...'
"I gave you half credit on your paper ? Franklin did invent the stove, but Jefferson didn't invent the airplane."
"I swear, he's my half brother: he's a mule you see..."
Sawing a woman in half.
Tags:magic, magick, magician, magicians, saw, sawing, half, halves, rabbit, rabbits, white, hat, hats, wand, wands, perform, performer, performance, performers, performances, trick, tricks, illusion, illusions, illusionist, illusionists, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater