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Michael Gove at the Head Teachers' Conference: 'It's your own time you're wasting Mr. Gove.'
'I can eat a full lunch in five minutes and it takes you half an hour. That's why I'm the master teacher.'
Books on running a successful school,
'Your assignment, should you choose to accept, is to increase educational standards while support services dwindle.'
'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'
'Unfortunately, we're approaching the expiration date on our quick-fix solutions.'
'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'
'No Kevin, no one squealed on you. I saw your prank on YouTube.'
'Yes, I received the Parents Association's proposal to revamp the school administration. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'
'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'
Don't make me go to school! But Honey, you're the teacher.
'If they have been 'throwing money away at the schools' they certainly have been missing this place.'
'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'
'Teaching, reading, writing, and arithmetic sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by an educational focus group.'
'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'
'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'
'Welcome to school, students. Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'
"I'm his lawyer!"
Sure there's a way to discipline them. Yell at them.
"Body piercing is against school dress code, Ed."
'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'
'Mr Wordsworth, you must stop wandering lonely as a cloud, and start paying attention to your school work.'
Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.
'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated the skin, I'm calling your mother.'