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'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'
'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'
DIY Electrics reader is being followed by the Grim Reaper.
I.V. snap in elevator.
Thanks for the worm, but I almost got this stupid hook stuck in my mouth.'
'Oh, for Pete's sake! Not the smoke alarm again!'
Welcome to Insuranceville
'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'
'Where are we supposed to play now?'
Room for one more...
Tags:hedgehog, hedgehogs, porcupine, porcupines, balloon, balloons, lift, lifts, elevator, elevators, balloon animal, balloon animals, spike, spikes, giraffe, giraffes, sliding door, sliding doors, party, parties, pending disaster, health and safety, accident waiting to happen, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'Someone should fix that,'
Tags:health and safety, safety, safety issue, safety issues, fix, fixes, fixing, fixed, hole, holes, basketball, basketballs, basketballer, basketballers, player, players, play, plays, playing, played, dribble, dribbles, dribbling, dribbler, dribblers, dribbled, fall, falls, falling, fell, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'You mean to tell me there are no fire exits?!'
Tags:hell, devil, devils, satan, satanist, satanists, fire, burn, burns, burning, fire exit, fire exits, escape, escapes, escape route, escape routes, safe, safety, health and safety, fire marshal, fire marshals, unsafe, pointless, useless, dangerous, danger, lucifer, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'My property was okayed, but they said my life structure has serious code violations.'
"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."
Tags:approval, request, requests, office, hierarchy, hierarchies, corporation, corporations, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, faceless bureaucracy, faceless bureaucracies, office drone, office drones, office worker, office workers, process, processes, approval process, approval processes, pend, pends, pending, wait, waits, waiting, regulation, regulations, rule, rules, health and safety
'Time out! Fish on!'
Tags:ice hockey, hockey, time out, time outs, timeout, timeouts, fish, fishes, ice rink, ice rinks, ice fishing, ice fisher, ice fishers, fisherman, fishermen, fished, fishing, fisher, fishers, break, breaks, hole, holes, health and safety, surprise, surprises, surprised, surprising, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'I don't trust carry-out food. . . when you find a hair in my cooking, you don't hafta worry about where it came from!'
25¢ Ride the Pony
Tags:carnival attraction, carnival attractions, fairground attraction, fairground attractions, fair ride, fair rides, carnival ride, carnival rides, amusement park, amusement parks, children's ride, children's rides, kid, kids, mother, mothers, vending machine, vending machines, bucking horse, bucking horses, rodeo, rodeos, cowboy, cowboys, pony, ponies, horse, horses, health and safety, overprotective, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, overprotectiveness, over-protectiveness
'Caution slippery pyramid' sign on ancient Egyptian pyramids.
Tags:athlete, athletes, athletics, pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulting, pole vaulted, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, mattress, mattresses, fall, falls, falling, fell, hard landing, hard landings, health and safety, shock, shocks, shocking, shocked, jump, jumps, jumping, jumped, jumper, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'It's okay, I'm wearing safety contact lenses.'
Tags:pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulting, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, pole vaulted, mat, mats, mattress, mattresses, health and safety, safety, fall, falls, falling, fell, cushion, cushions, cushioned, soft, soften, softens, softening, land, lands, landing, accident prevention, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
It was a hot day, and at the last minute ha had decided not to wear his piano-resistant hat.
In China, Alphabet Soup can be a choking hazard.
"Oh my goodness – you should not be standing on a rolly chair."
Tags:suicides, suicidal, killing yourself, hang, hanging, hanging yourself, hanging himself, danger, dangers, health and safety, health and safety in the workplace, health and safety gone mad, missing the point, miss the point, noose, nooses, hate your job, hate my job, colleague, colleagues, annoying colleague, annoying colleagues
If you READ the guidelines you'd see that all you they ACTUALLY recommend is a pair of rubber gloves!