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'Your insurance only covered the removal of the damaged organ...you'll have to put the transplant in yourself.'
'I hope these make you feel better, because they're all you're getting.'
''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'
'My prescription: digital textbooks.'
'I have the results of your stress test, and to be on the safe side, I want you to stop looking at your 401k.'
'Due to cutbacks we've had to accept a sponsor for your stitches.'
'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'
'I've been told to keep my spirits up.'
'Sure, we called for a second opinion. That was six months ago.'
'It's a postcard from your doctor. He says he'll be right with you.'
'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'
'According to the hospitals new electronic patients records system he's pregnant.'
'But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring.'
To be more convincing when he faked a sick day, Bill liked to actually feel lousy.
'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'
"You both appear to be in excellent health."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, examination, examinations, exam, exams, healthy, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, vet clinic, vet clinics, animal hospital, animal hospitals, veterinarian clinic, veterinarian clinics
"By the time we got him in here, he had already lost an awful lot of liquidity."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, liquidity, asset, assets, money, finances, personal finances, unhealthy, in danger, financial risk, financial problems, financial issues, money problems, money issues, liquid asset, liquid assets, economics, business, businessman, businessmen
"I yelled 'shazam' and there was lightning and a big explosion. They say I was unconcious for two hours."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, superhero, superheros, hero, heros, superpower, superpowers, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, shazam, lightning, unconscious, knocked out, explosion, explosions
'You have a lovely bedside manor.'
Woman looking at a sign in a pharmacy that says "Staff Picks"
Tags:pharmacy, pharmacies, chemist, chemists, chemist's, pharmacists, pharmacists, drugstore, drugstores, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, over the counter, over-the-counter, prescribed, medical, staff, staff picks, staff favourites, staff favourites, recommendation, recommendations, suggestions, suggestions, drug abuse, medicine abuse, prescription abuse, pharmaceutical abuse, addiction, addict, addicts, healthcare, health care, insurance, health insurance
"It's dislocated, alright."
Doctor: 'Your discomfort may well be a bandwidth issue.'
'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'
"It's a great country–just don't get sick."
Tags:slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, saloon, saloons, sheriff, sheriffs, deputy, deputies, medical, medicare, healthcare, health care, united states, america, american, pill, pills, prescription, skeleton, skeletons, death, dead, die, died